A Cheap Shot
by Zeech
Summary: A short stories concerning the relationship of Pippin and the valiant captain of Gondor, Boromir -- as well as with the rest of the Fellowship.
1. A Cheap Shot

+A Cheap Shot+ ZChan 

"You are good with that little sword, Pippin." Boromir smiled viciously as the Hobbit huffed and puffed to keep up with him. "To the left…make sure you are always blocking with the point up instead of down because being so short –' Pippin's brows came down even further and Boromir corrected himself. " – the height that you are, it would not do good to have the blade down now, would it?"

"No." Pippin's eyes cast downward, but in a seconds time Boromir raised his blade high above his head and narrowly missed chopping Pippin in two. His blade screeched against the rock, and from across the camp site Aragorn looked up. Seeing it was nothing of any real importance, he resumed his talk with Gandalf. Pippin's eyes were as big as one of Sam's frying pans and he stared at Boromir. "What was that for?"

"For not paying attention. Now sit down. Merry, your turn."

The Brandybuck got to his feet and picked up his own sword, standing next to Pippin. "Why don't you take us both on at once?"

"What a challenge.."

Merry smirked this time and started smacking at Boromir's sword with his own until he had to back up to avoid the slashes. Pippin giggled when Merry retorted,  "Are you afraid we might just beat you?"  This time Boromir laughed loudly and Frodo and Sam turned their heads to see what the commotion was about, and immediately found themselves interested.

Still somewhat amused, but willing, Boromir positioned his sword. "Alright little hobbits. Attack!"

Merry drove his sword straight past the human's inner thigh (had it not been practice he would have skewered the man's leg) while Pippin clashed with the actual sword. Things were looking up for the hobbits when Pippin 'cut off' Boromir's right arm, but in one quick sweeping motion the human sent Pippin rolling into the brush. The youngest hobbit wailed as he tumbled down the grassy slope, and Boromir dropped his sword and bent over with his palms on his leather covered knees; laughing once more.

"Pippin, you might want to try jumping next time – " Boromir never got the chance to finish, for Merry (had dropped his sword as well) rounded his left shoulder and plowed his little body into the tall man's groin. His laughter turned into a sharp cry and he fell flat on his back, onto the ground and curling up into a ball while groaning in pain.

Pippin, who had made his way up the hill in time only to see Boromir on the ground, looked at Merry with a huge grin. "What did you do?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures!" Merry assured his cousin, and thrust his sword back in his hand. "Come on Pip – let's get him!" Pippin brushed the leaves and grass off of him and out of his light hair with his free hand and gripped his sword with the other. Aragorn and Gandalf were now standing, watching to make sure nobody was seriously hurt. Sam and Frodo were cringing as they ate. 

The hobbits pounced. Boromir was lying on his side now, still moaning and groaning and cringing, so Merry took a seat on his arm and Pippin straddled the human's thigh with his little legs and together the hobbits repeatedly swatted him with the handles of their swords. Boromir finally found a voice (that was a few octaiives higher).

"Enough! Enough already, I give up!" his face was drawn and pained now, and he pulled himself to a sitting position effortlessly  -  the hobbits slid off and their bottoms thudded against the rock, a pair of ouches following. Boromir looked at Merry with an evil eye. "That was a cheap shot…"

Merry looked straight back, legs in front of him and resting with his palms to the ground. "Yes, but if an Orc did that to you, it wouldn't consider your feelings, now would it, Boromir?"

Pippin gazed at Merry in sincere admiration, then furrowed his brow. "Merry…that's what he always says to us."

"I know Pip. It's like I'm giving him his own medicine."

Boromir rolled his eyes and (still gasping somewhat) glanced over his shoulder – Gandalf and Aragorn were watching with huge smiles on their faces. They even had the nerve to wave at him! He nodded back, sourly, and muttered something under his breath about being beaten by two Halflings.

"You're still a good sword fighter, Boromir!" Pippin chimed in, eyes still holding a glow from their victory. 

Merry strayed a look at Aragorn and Gandalf, then brought his eyes back to Boromir. His voice was low. "I wonder…do you think you're better than Strider at sword fighting?" the hobbits eyes were meant to show nothing but curious innocence, and had Boromir not been purely focused on his…manhood and the pain that still lingered, he may have seen the mischievous want for vengeance in them. 

Boromir, still somewhat steamed over the fact that Aragorn was to one day take his throne, nodded menacingly. "I would have to say yes."  Merry nodded and glanced at Pippin, who looked clueless, and trotted off somewhere with Pippin. Boromir pulled himself to his feet and brushed himself off. The other members of the fellowship were doing nothing but talking and eating. Gimli was speaking to a disinterested but politely listening Frodo and Sam about the splendor and magnificence of the Mines of Moria while they ate and nodded.

Legolas was gazing over the horizon, standing on a rock and only every now and then straying a glance his way. When their eyes met it seemed that the Elf was holding back a smile – a very smug smile. Damn, even Legolas found a bit of a laugh in his humiliation. He went back to his gazing, and Boromir noticed Merry and Pippin talking with a very interested looking Gandalf and Aragorn. The ranger (or monarch replacement, Boromir bitterly corrected himself) met his eyes, then looked back down to Merry and Pippin.

The two hobbits marched back up to Boromir with two big grins. 

"What did you two do?" he asked, voice holding a hoarse note instead of it's playful one before.

"Nothing." Merry piped.

"We told Strider that you thought you were a better swordsman than he was!" Pippin told Boromir, honestly thinking it meant nothing. Boromir looked down to see Aragorn making his way up the path that lead to their little self-made training arena.

"Oh… marvelous, Halflings, marvelous." Boromir snapped, pulling his sword out and raising his eyebrows at Aragorn. The ranger drew his own sword, but his eyes held no malice. The taller man slipped a glare at Merry and pointed to a section of rock away from the two dueling men. "Go stand over there with your girlfriend."

Merry's jaw dropped and he glared at Boromir in rage, and Pippin (having realized what Boromir said) glared as well, but both of them moved out of the way.

"Merry says you wish to challenge me." Aragorn said simply, and Boromir nodded. A man of Gondor did not dare turn down any kind of duel. The fighting commenced, and both men were thoroughly skilled when it came to the actual art, but in speed Aragorn was certainly not Boromir's equal.

Aragorn snapped his blade over Boromir's, who quickly evaded the blow and slipped his own lunge at Aragorn's side. The ranger moved to the side with ease and gave a hard sweep right at Boromir's fingertips – the blade slit through the leather gloved and even drew blood; thus causing Boromir to drop his sword.

The steel point of Aragorn's weapon grazed his vulnerable throat and the ranger smirked. "Do you surrender?"

Boromir leered back and brought a hand up to push the blade away. "For now, ranger. We will settle this matter later." Aragorn nodded and retreated with a good grace, back to Gandalf, who was giving the man of Gondor a stern look for how he addressed Aragorn son of Arathorn. The old Wizard said nothing.

"Strider plowed you into the rock." Merry laughed, coming to stand beside Boromir. Seconds later his smile vanished into a frown as he looked up into the grey eyes of one of Gondor's finest soldiers. "That's what you get for calling Pip my girlfriend."

"Yeah, Boromir!" Pippin whined, aiming a kick to the back of Boromir's knee. "Watch what you say about me and Merry. We're stronger than we look. We took you down, didn't we?"

Boromir snorted. "I let you win."

"Did not!"

The human once again took a seat on the rock, and to his surprise both hobbits joined him. Without looking at them, he said, "One of these days you two will be glad I am part of this company."

"Yeah," Merry rolled his eyes. "Sure we will."

Boromir just laughed. 


	2. Another Cheap Shot

**Another Cheap Shot**

"We shall rest here tonight." Gandalf lowered his knarled staff to the ground and looked toward the distant path that lead down into the Mines of Moria. They were no longer chest deep in snow but there was still a lingering chill in the air as the sun lowered into the valley. Gandalf pursed his lips and looked at the company, and noticed that the Hobbits were once again lollygagging. They were staring at him with huge eyes and their little hands resting on their growling middles. He waited a minute before asking the inevitable, "Who is hungry?"

"I'm downright famished, Mr. Gandalf." Sam took the question as permission to start cooking. Merry and Pippin wasted no time in agreeing that they were starving and hovered around Sam, watching him assemble his pots and pans. 

The Wizard raised an eyebrow and tipped his hat further above his eyes, noting the fact that there was no stray wood around. To the left of him, about a quarter mile away, there was what seemed to be a marsh with patches of dry land raising in mounds every so often. There had to be dry wood there. To Merry and Pippin, he said,

"Peregrin, Meriadoc…go collect some wood for Samwise. He cannot cook without fire, now can he?" 

Pippin paled and Merry's head snapped up. He whispered so the others could not hear his hesitance. "You mean just the two of us? Alone?" 

"Not alone, foolish Brandybuck, you'll have Peregrin with you." Gandalf reminded him, but he knew that this brought no comfort to Merry. He looked up to see the light of the evening had already started fading and stars began to glitter in the deep blue. "And you had better hurry if you do not want to run into something really vicious…like more wolves."

Merry glanced at Pippin and looked to Gandalf. "Well…we're not _that_ hungry.."

Pippin nudged Merry and whispered, "Yes we are!"

Gandalf rolled his eyes and repressed laughter. _You have had your fun with these two, you old Wizard, _he scolded himself on the inside and let his mouth quirk into an awkward smile. "Alright then, if you are too frightened to go alone then I will send one of the bigger members of our company to go with you." 

Pippin and Merry looked relieved as Gandalf looked to each member of the Fellowship for someone that did not look terribly busy. The Ranger was kneeling next to Legolas and talking quietly while the Elf was nodding and murmuring back. Gimli was seated next to Frodo and was once again bombarding the ring bearer with memories of his cousin Balin and other talk of Moria. Frodo had just traveled over the slopes of Caradhras through the freezing snow and was glad to hear of warm fires and Dwarf hospitality. 

Then there was Boromir. He was pacing back and forth some ways away from Gimli and Frodo, twirling his sword around with one hand and keeping the other clenched at his side. He seemed tense, as usual, and was probably trying to shake all the weight out of his shoulders (he had been the one to cart the Took and the Brandybuck all over Caradhras) and loosen them up. Gandalf felt the small smile on his face quirk into an all out grin and evil chuckles rose from his chest. 

Merry and Pippin just blinked, and Boromir paused in his pacing. He seemed to feel the Wizard's eyes on his and slowly looked up to meet them with a tiresome expression. Gandalf winked and jabbed his index finger in Boromir's direction.

"Son of Denethor, you have been chosen to protect the Ring bearer's cousins in their quest for firewood." the Wizard put his hand on his hip and tipped his tall hat at the man. Boromir did not reply for sometime, but when Merry and Pippin peeked out from behind Gandalf's grey robe and waved Boromir let his head drop back and cast his eyes to the new stars, groaning irritably. Gandalf frowned good naturedly. "Well? Get on with it! We're all very hungry, Captain!"

Boromir made sure to give the Wizard a particularly nasty look before sheathing his sword and motioning for the Hobbits to follow him. Merry grinned and ran to Boromir's side, and Pippin reluctantly followed. He had been stuck with Boromir for the entire time they tracked over Caradhras and quite frankly the two of them had gotten annoyed with each other. Merry didn't seem to mind. He liked Boromir all the way (he had long since forgiven him for the inaccurate reference to his ) and found him amusing at times.

Merry noticed Boromir kept closing and opening his left hand. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "What happened?"

"Master Peregrin cut the circulation off about two hours ago." he replied, giving Pippin an evil eye. "And now I am having trouble keeping it awake."

"Everyone blames the Took!" Pippin growled in reply, and sided up to Merry. "I'm hungry." he told his cousin, and Boromir growled, looking back at Gandalf (who now had his back turned). 

"Then be quiet and start gathering wood." he snapped, and Pippin folded his arms across his little chest. The memory of the snow still bit into him and he shivered slightly despite his long sleeves and trousers. Boromir glanced at him through the corner of his eye and snorted. "Are you still cold?"

"Yes, are you _still_ cold, Pip?" Merry asked, taking a stance similar to Boromir's. Pippin looked at the two stern faces and let his arms drop to his sides.

"No." 

Boromir grumbled and stooped to scoop up several pieces of dead wood. He scanned the now dark land and saw that the only wood left was mounted on the patches of dry land in the marsh. He pursed his lips, looking down at the four pieces of wood he held in one arm. It wasn't enough…

With a rugged sigh he trudged forward. "Merry, Pippin, this way." he pointed to the marsh and said to Merry, "The two of us are going to cross. Peregrin, you are going to stay here and keep out of trouble. Can you be still for five minutes?" his grey eyes narrowed on the Hobbit, and Pippin suddenly felt his heart sink a little. Boromir thought of him as a child, and it hurt. He stuck his bottom lip out and put on his meanest frown.

"Why can't I go with you?"

"Because you're too silly, Pip." Merry said, and honestly meant no offense to his younger cousin. Pippin knew he was silly, but at that moment he was not in the mood to be reminded that he was a 'foolish Took' as Gandalf liked to put it. Boromir said something similar and both man and hobbit strided toward the marsh.

Pippin frowned and quickly caught up with them, calling out for them to stop. When Boromir threw a nasty glance over his shoulder and bellowed a negative response Pippin launched himself at Boromir and slammed his little body into the backs of his knees. The captain of Gondor let out a yelp and crashed to the ground, getting a mouthful of grass and dirt. Pippin did not scramble to his feet, he scrambled up Boromir's prone body until his arms were clamped around his waist. 

Merry was staring at them in shock. "Pip! What was that for?!"

"Boromir's being unfair!" he growled, and Boromir groaned from beneath him. He pulled himself to a sitting position, the hobbit still attached to his side. He spat out grass and dirt and dusted himself off ( he also had to remove the blades of grass from his hair before the Hobbit saw and broke down into laughter), then glared at Pippin. Gondor's captain had never been one with patience, and now his patience had dissipated. 

"Peregrin Took, if you do not remove yourself this instant I am going to skewer you on the end of my sword and let Sam cook _you_ for dinner!" he shouted, but Pippin looked up at him smugly.

"Sam wouldn't cook me!"

"No? Come now, Peregrin, do not fool yourself into believing you would be missed." he growled, trying to pry the cold fingers from his middle. He felt the tremors in the hobbit's body and somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered that Pippin was cold. He ignored the thought and growled more. "Off!"

After a moment he stopped struggling and looked over at Merry, who was standing there with an amused look on his face. Boromir was about to say something when an icy fist broke into his cheek and his head snapped all the way to the side. Anger rose in his broad chest and he lost all control of his temper. Pippin seemed to notice this because he immediately released Boromir and trampled over him, running full speed away from him.

"Pip, come back!" Merry shouted after his cousin, and looked down at the stunned Boromir. He lowered a hand to help Gondor's captain up, but then realized that it was no use. Boromir stood and Merry said, "We had better go find him. Who knows where he went."

Boromir grumbled and lightly touched the side of his face, feeling blood begin to gather under the skin to form a bruise. 

--- --- --- 

Pippin had made sure that they were out of sight when he reached the marsh. The pale moon was out now, and it shone brightly down on him. He could see the patches of dry land sticking up through murky brown water and large pieces of dry wood stacked on them. He grinned and planted his fists on his hips.

"They'll both be sorry they said I was too silly." he said aloud, moving to the very edge of the water. "…once I bring these back!"

With a volt of courage he leapt to the first island. It did not have any wood on it – it was the other two patches that had the most, but the problem was that they were farther off and it would be more difficult to jump across. Pippin moved to the very edge and once again shoved off one island and landed on the other. His legs missed and plunged into the water – the surprisingly deep water, but his arms had latched onto the land. He pulled himself up and shook the water from his trousers. 

What was a little water? At least he had gotten some wood. He gathered it into his arms and looked toward the last island. It held the pot of gold – a stack of dry wood so perfect it would have brought a tear to Sam's eye. He cautiously moved to the edge of the bank, but heard a sound behind him. It was Merry and Boromir.

"Pip, come back! That's dangerous!" Merry ordered him, and he seemed out of breath. He saw a purple bruise splotching the side of Boromir's face in the white moonlight, and inwardly smiled, but did not heed Merry's warning. "Pippin, let us take care of that! You just come back!"

"No!" he called back, showing them the wood he had already collected. "I'm going to get the rest first."

"Peregrin Took – " Merry began again, but was silenced by Boromir.

"Peregrin Took, come back right now." he commanded in a voice that only belonged to a captain. "It's dangerous where you are."

Pippin ignored Boromir as well and prepared to leap across. He bent his knees and then sprung forward into the air, quickly descending until he hit the very edge of the island's bank. His feet, however, slipped on the wet mud and he slid into the deep water. It was cold and deep, and worst of all brown. He could not see a thing and the chill refused to let him gather his senses. Merry's voice cried out from somewhere above the surface, and he struggled to reach it but could not find his bearings.

Finally, his head broke the surface and he looked around for the island but could not find it. Something slimy swam past his leg and he panicked. He was far from the island and in the middle of murky, cold, deep water. Merry was calling his name still, but he did not hear Boromir's voice. 

Pippin felt himself begin to sink again but two massive arms wrapped around him firmly and began to pull him toward the main land. Pippin clung to Boromir's drenched body and did not let go until the two of them were safely on the grass. Boromir immediately released Pippin and got to his feet shakily. Pippin was pulled to his feet by Merry, who pointed out that Pippin was trembling.

"Pip, what did I tell you?!" he smacked his cousin's shoulder. "I said not to go and you did it anyway! Now look what happened! You almost died and now you and Boromir are soaking wet." he pulled Pippin into a hug, and Pip returned it tightly. "Listen to me next time!"

"I'm sorry, Merry." he sniffled, and Boromir came up behind the two of them. The saw that he had his arms folded across his chest and was frowning despite how cold he appeared. 

"Come, you two. Let's go back to camp." he snorted. "Gandalf will probably give us a scolding we deserve." he reluctantly held his arms out, offering to carry Pippin. The hobbit would have declined if he were not freezing cold, so he climbed into Boromir's arms and squirmed closer to his warm chest. Boromir looked annoyed but said nothing.

--- --- --- 

Legolas stood a few feet away from the camp, looking out into the night. Sam had made dinner with some firewood they had found in the opposite direction of the marsh, but was worried sick about the other two hobbits. 

"They should have been back by now." Gandalf muttered, casting his eyes to Aragorn. "Probably that Took. Always finding mischief in _everything_. It is my fault for sending them."

"Did you not send Boromir with them?"

"I did."

"Then worry not, Gandalf." Aragorn said to his friend, the Wizard. "I'm more than sure that Boromir did not let them get into trouble."

"Aie, you speak too soon. They have returned." Legolas called to Aragorn and Gandalf, who looked up. The Elf moved toward three approaching figures and immediately reached out and touched Boromir's wet shoulder, his fair features turning into a frown. "You are drenched and freezing, Boromir. What happened?"

"Pip slipped and fell into the marsh but Boromir saved him!" Merry piped up, putting an arm around his cousin after Boromir set him down. "Isn't that right, Pip?"

"Pippin, you're trembling!" Frodo said, then turned to the rest of the Fellowship. "Does anyone have a blanket? He'll catch his death!"

Gandalf immediately removed his robe and draped his around Pippin's shoulders. "Fool of a Took. I can always rely on you to bring trouble. When you're well enough I am going to give you the beating of your life!"

"Gandalf, it was not his fault." Boromir growled from somewhere behind them. Aragorn and Legolas were on both his sides, setting a large blanket over his broad shoulders. "I provoked him to…prove himself, I suppose, and he tried to."

"We were a little cross with you, Pip." Merry admitted. "Sorry.."

Pippin looked to the ground guiltily and kicked a rock. "It's alright…I don't care anymore." to Boromir he mumbled, "Thank you, Boromir." he, though still shaking from the cold, walked over and held a hand out to Boromir. Gondor's captain swallowed his pride and shook the Hobbit's hand.

"I am…sorry for taunting you, Master Took." he replied, and felt all the eyes of the company fall on the two of them. Aragorn was looking him over with admiration, and Legolas once again had that smug look on his face, while Gimli looked bored and hungry. He gestured to the fire, where Sam had dinner prepared. "Well…if the seven of you don't mind, we would like to have something to eat…?"

Sam immediately stood. "Then come on over and eat! Everything's ready!"

The rest of the Fellowship crowded around the fire, and Boromir held an arm out. "After you, Master Peregrin."

"Pippin." the hobbit corrected with a frown. "Call me Pippin."

"Very well, Pippin." he once again motioned for the Hobbit to go. "After you."

Pippin grinned broadly. "You were right…I am glad you're part of this company."

"Didn't you two say something about eating?" Sam called from the camp fire, hailing them over. "Not to be rude, but hurry up!"

Boromir sat heavily down and was joined by Pippin. They had not even begun the meal when a certain smug Elf inquired of Boromir, 

"What happened to the side of your face?"

Boromir glanced at Pippin and continued eating. "Nothing…just a cheap shot."


	3. Cheap Shots and Elven Locks 1

**disclaimer:** I don't own anything in this story, it's a non-profit effort to let people enjoy the yummy Boromir of Gondor and Peregrin Took. 

thanks to [kitsune, master dingleberry, Morgaine, Lil Loki Puck, Flame Angel Lee Maxwell, MagiQueen, MarigoldG, LuckyClover, Tigerlily Sackville-Baggins,  and michett ] for all of your wondeful reviews! Very encouraging !

note: this is a two-parter because I think it could use some suspense about now. The second part will be up shortly, I promise !  So be my guest and enjoy the fic!

Cheap Shots and Elven Locks 

Pippin plopped down onto a smooth surfaced rock, trying to ignore Gandalf's attempts to open the doors of Moria. The old man's voice could get very aggravating sometimes ( and not just because it was constantly telling him to sit down, or be quiet, or that he was a rare breed of imbecile ) and this was one of those times. 

The night air was cool, and he settled back onto his palms and scrunched his nose to try to block the foul smell of the pond. The sound of soft footprints padded beside him, and he turned to see a leg clad in green inches from his face. He looked up to see Legolas standing next to him, looking nervous and gazing over the pond. He pinched some of the material of the Elf's pants and tugged. 

"Yes, Master Peregrin?" Legolas responded in a quiet voice, so he would not disturb Gandalf's concentration. Pippin asked,

"Did you bring any beer on this journey?"

Legolas' otherwise smooth brow creased in a bit of a frown and his lips quirked to form a smile as he looked back to the pond. "Elves take no liking to the foul taste and effects of liquor." He grimaced, and Pippin could not tell if it was the smell of the water or the thought of beer that made him do so. He pinched his nose and pulled himself to his feet, standing on the rock he had sat on and looking around for anyone in the Fellowship that was not sleeping from boredom as Gandalf chanted on.

He wanted to talk to Boromir but it seemed the Captain of Gondor was in a heated discussion with the King of Gondor and Pippin decided not to bother them. He plopped down next to Frodo, who offered him a smile but said nothing. Aragorn and Boromir's voices floated down from their place on the higher rocks of the gates of Moria, and the young Took tried to drown the sound out but soon learned he could not. He wondered if the rest of the Fellowship heard them.

"I refuse to take a single step into those mines." Boromir's low but angry voice snapped. "There is nothing but danger and evil in there. The Gap of Rohan – "

"The Gap of Rohan is no longer an option, Boromir." Aragorn cut him off with a calm voice, and Pippin winced. He could feel the cold anger in the night air. "Saruman is watching that route. We, you and I, have no choice but to follow Gandalf into the Mines of Moria."

"I refuse."

"You cannot." Aragorn repeated, and his eyes moved to where Boromir's hand rested near the hilt of his sword. His fist was clenched, and the Ranger saw that Boromir was having trouble convincing himself that decapitating his King was a bad idea. "Boromir.."

'"Who is going to force me? _You_? Isildur's heir is going to force me to follow him into death's door?" Boromir's voice had quieted but volume had been replaced with sheer bitterness. It was obvious, and had been ever since they left Rivendell (and ever since that little sword fight), that Boromir did not trust the Ranger and further more did not appreciate being informed that his king was a Ranger. 

"Then you will leave the Fellowship now and head for Minas Tirith alone?" Aragorn inquired pointedly, and only received muffled curses from Boromir. He risked putting a hand on the Captain's shoulder and forced him to look into his eyes. "We need you as much as you need us. Consider that, Boromir."

Boromir, being roughly fifty years younger and fifty times as arrogant and proud as Aragorn, growled something the Ranger would rather not repeat and jerked away, moving down the rocks to where the rest of the Fellowship stood. He stalked past Pippin, and the Hobbit watched him settle down in his own corner by the lower rocks. Pippin turned to Frodo and whispered,

"This seems like a bad time to talk to Boromir." 

"Please don't anger him further, Pip." Frodo whispered back. "He has a lot on his mind right now. Go talk to Strider." Pippin, for once, heeded his cousin's advice and trotted up to where Aragorn sat on one of the smoother rocks. Legolas had joined him, but the two did not seem engaged in conversation.

"Hello Strider. Hello again, Legolas." he piped, rather loudly, and both Man and Elf placed a finger to their lips and shushed him. "Sorry…what are you doing up here?"

"Discussing arrogant Stewards and ill-mannered Hobbits." Legolas replied in a smooth tone with a smile, and Pippin glared at the Elf. The Prince of Mirkwood laughed lightly and quietly, which was a pleasant sound to any being except an insulted Hobbit. "I am sorry if I have offended you, Pippin." The Elf apologized with remains of laughter ringing off his voice. "Will you give us the pleasure of your company?"

Pippin nodded and took a seat between the two, but his eyes went to the long blond hair that spilled behind Legolas' shoulders. "I never noticed how long your hair is, Legolas." Pippin said casually, as if he were plainly trying to make conversation when in reality he was hearing the clink of silver and gold coins falling into his hands. Mr. Winkned, back home in the Shire, had always talked of wanting Elven hair as a trophy and how any Hobbit brave enough to wander far enough to get it would be paid well. 

Mr. Winkned had everything from Dwarf ax-heads to a chunk of Gandalf's staff (sold to him by Bilbo, of course) and the only thing he lacked was Elf hair. Pippin felt his little mouth water with greed. Legolas did not seem to notice and was discussing the encounter with the wolves with Aragorn. Pippin pondered a moment realized he would need Boromir's help.

He scampered down the rocks and ran past Merry (lately he had been reluctant to ask anything of his fellow Hobbits), who looked up but just as quickly turned back to his conversation with Sam. The Hobbit's feet sank into the mud by the bank, and he repressed a yelp. Gandalf would not like yet more trouble from this Took!

With a sickening sucking sound, he pulled his feet from the mud and walked so he was standing before Boromir. The tall man was seated heavily with his knees drawn only a little distance from his chest with his elbows resting on them. He did not seem to see Pippin; his head was turned to the side and he appeared to be staring at the rock, his bearded chin tucked and his grey eyes distant. Pippin had to kick him in the shin to get his attention.

Boromir's eyes snapped up to meet the Hobbit's and for a moment it looked like he was prepared to attack. Then he relaxed and inquired in a huffy voice, "What do you want?"

"You're mad at Strider, aren't you?"

Boromir raised an eyebrow and replied suspiciously, "I am not going to challenge him to another duel, if that is what you are thinking, Peregrin Took."

"No, I wasn't going to suggest it." Pippin replied, looking at the ground and shuffling his feet. "But…"

"But what?!" Boromir snapped loudly, bringing the old Wizard's eye on the two of them. Gandalf frowned.

"Boromir, keep your voice down! You'll wake the dead!" he bellowed from his place by the doors. "I am trying to concentrate!"

"My apologies, sir," Boromir replied, and waited until the Wizard had his back turned again and continued to mutter at the doors. Boromir turned back to Pippin. "But what?" he repeated in the same agitated tone, but a quieter version of it. 

"I was going to say that Legolas called you arrogant." Pippin informed his new friend, leaving out the fact that he had been referred to as an 'ill-mannered' Hobbit. Instead of raging like a beast and drawing his sword and declaring Legolas a dead-Elf as he expected, Boromir just shrugged his broad shoulders. 

"I am arrogant sometimes." 

Pippin, shocked at the lack of anger, tried again. He was desperate to form anger between the Man and the Elf. "He also called you an heir of a steward."

"I am that as well, Peregrin." his brow raised higher. "Where are you going with this?"

"He said you were ugly."

"No, he didn't."

"You don't know that." Pippin challenged, planting his small hands on his small hips. "You weren't there."

"I know Legolas, and I know that he cares not for petty insults." Boromir retorted, folding his arms and looking straight back at the Hobbit. "Is there something particular you want from me or him, may I ask?" he had momentarily forgotten his anger toward Aragorn and was now curious.

"I…well, yes."

"Then tell me." Pippin thought a moment, and then leaned in close, whispering what he wanted into Boromir's ear. Boromir let his raised eyebrow drop into a frown. "A lock of his hair?"

"Shh! Elves have good hearing!" 

"Why do you not go and ask for it?"

"He would say no!" Pippin replied. "Help me get it! Please, Boromir…?"

The future Steward of Gondor pulled himself to his feet, and Pippin thought in the back of his mind that he did it on purpose just to remind the Halfling just _why_ his kind were referred to as 'Halflings'. He pursed his lips and inhaled sharply through his nose, planting his large hands on his hips just as Pippin had.

"How am I supposed to do that? Hold him down?"

"You are strong enough, Captain." Pippin used his title in almost a mocking tone. Boromir looked at the Hobbit as though he had just mentioned the moon was green. 

"I suppose I am, but what would the rest of the Fellowship think when they see me assaulting the Prince of Mirkwood." he replied in an even whisper, so Gandalf and no-one else would hear him. "Aragorn, the future _king_," the word came bitterly from his lips, as though it were a poison. "..Would certainly have his sword at my throat."

"Well maybe you could distract him while I took it." Pippin suggested. He gripped the knees of Boromir's pants and whined, "It would work!"

"No, it would not."

"It would so!"

"It _wouldn't _work!" Boromir growled, a little louder than he wanted to. Once again, Gandalf turned to glare at him. 

"What are you two arguing about?"

"Nothing.." the two of them replied guiltily, not meeting Gandalf's eyes. 

"Well if it's 'nothing' then be quiet!"  When Gandalf turned again, Pippin grabbed Boromir's hand and began to pull him to where Legolas and Aragorn were still seated and talking quietly amongst themselves. Before approaching, Pippin took it upon himself to feel around Boromir's waist and remove his knife (earning indignant protests from Boromir, of course). 

"You can pretend to apologize." Pippin whispered, and Boromir rolled his eyes but promised to obey. The two of them walked up to the Ranger and the Elf.

"Hello again, Strider!" piped the Hobbit, and Aragorn smiled and lifted a hand to the Hobbit.

"Hello again, Pippin." he saw the way Pippin gripped Boromir's hand, and the look on Boromir's face. He did not want to confront Boromir just yet on their earlier disagreement, but felt he had no choice now. To his future Steward he nodded his head. "Boromir."

"Aragorn." Boromir stated rather dryly, and rudely. He did not bother to hide his disinterest and disdain toward the Ranger. 

"Boromir has come to apologize for his cruel words earlier." Pippin spoke up, and Aragorn raised his brows at the Hobbit. Boromir gave the Hobbit an agitated nudge. 

"They were not cruel, _Halfling_." 

"No they were not." Aragorn agreed, offering Boromir a seat. The other man hesitated, then sat on one of the rocks, making sure he was right across from Legolas. The Elf's large green eyes were on him and the more the Elf gazed at him the sillier Boromir felt for aiding this Hobbit. Aragorn continued, "I understand your reason for not wanting to enter the Mines, Boromir, but we have not the choice."

"There cannot be anymore peril going through the Gap of Rohan than there is in Moria." his response held venom and he momentarily forgot his purpose for being there.

But now Pippin was directly behind Legolas, and still the Elf seemed not to notice. 


	4. Cheap Shots and Elven Locks 2

disclaimer: None of Tolkien's works or character belong to me, so please don't sue me.

a/n: Here's the second part! Sorry if some characters are a bit out of character. I try my best. ^.^

Thanks to all of you that reviewed the last chapter [Sam, D45, MarigoldG, Meir Brin, and plasticChevy] !!  I appreciate the encouragement! 

Cheap Shots and Elven Locks [part two] 

Aragorn sighed in resignation and leaned against the rock, regarding the other man with an expression Boromir could not pinpoint. At last, the Ranger spoke, "Moria is our path. Will you follow us or end your journey with the Company right here?"

"I understand your displeasure in taking the road through the Mines, Boromir." Legolas put in, and his green eyes were sincere. "As does Aragorn. Mithrandir was forced to choose the safest route, and the safest route as of right now is Moria." 

Boromir let out a rugged sigh and shifted so he could draw his sword from it's sheath. He did not notice Aragorn and the Elf tense suddenly at his weapon, and instead waited a moment before speaking in a tone that reflected reluctant acceptance. "I gave my word to follow the ring bearer until we reach Minas Tirith, and I intend to keep my word. But I would like my objection.." he trailed off, suddenly remembering the small figure behind Legolas. With his free hand he brushed his hair away from his face and finished his sentence. "…to be noted."

"So you can say, "I told you so" if one of us should perish?" Aragorn inquired, but his tone told Boromir that he was only teasing him. Denethor's heir forced himself to share a quiet laugh with the ranger and the Elf, and finally Aragorn spoke up, "I would like to apologize for not understanding your reasons for not wishing to enter Moria – or, at least not acknowledging them." he held a hand out as a peace treaty, and Boromir stared at it silently before looking up to see Pippin giving him a signal to shake the ranger's hand. 

Boromir, obeying Pippin as well as remembering that no matter how much he disliked his rightful king, the king still was the king and he would have to give him respect sometime, took the ranger's hand and returned the firm shake. "And I..' he spoke the word as though it were poison, 'apologize…for enforcing my opinion on you, Aragorn."

Aragorn nodded, but his gaze shifted to the sword in Boromir's hand, and he looked to Legolas as the Elf spoke.

"Well…it is good to see that settled." he continued to talk about things that any Man (besides Aragorn, _of course_) would find intensely boring such as trees and Mirkwood, but Boromir continued to nod and grunt every now and then. What was taking Pippin so long?

What _was_ taking Pippin so long?

Well, Pippin was worried that the Elf was going to find out there was a hobbit with a knife behind him the instant he even moved, and that would be the ruin of his entire plan. He was standing behind Legolas with his hands in front of him and hesitation freezing him in place. Boromir was keeping the two other Fellowship members busy long enough, but the grey eyes of Gondor's captain kept falling on him and the expression told him to take what he wanted and be done with it.

It was not that easy, however, and Boromir should have known that!  He bit his bottom lip and furrowed his brows, trying to come up with something brilliant to distract the Elf for just a moment.. He scanned the situation with eager eyes, and avoided Boromir's gaze (it seemed the captain was quite agitated by now), but something caught his eyes and a whirlpool of ideas careened through the young Hobbit's mind.

Boromir's sword was drawn and he was not looking happy. A smile curved on the Hobbit's mouth – a rarely seen maniacal smile that made Boromir's eyes pass Legolas' face and arch a brow at the Hobbit. He quickly turned his attention back to the Elf so neither ranger or archer would notice him looking at the Halfling. 

Pippin positioned Boromir's knife where he was planning on swiping off a lock of elf hair, and prepared to snatch it up right after. Silently, he counted himself off…

Gandalf had nearly given up by the time Pippin had decided to strike. He had tossed his staff to the ground and pulled his tall hat over his blue eyes, enjoying the stillness and silence (save for a few whispers of Legolas' voice and the wind in the poor trees). That is until a high pitched, boyish cry of a hobbit voice broke the quiet. It was not the sound that disturbed the wizard, it was what the Hobbit had shouted.

"Legolas, Boromir is trying to kill you!" 

Legolas cried out as a Hobbit hand his pale, silk hair and then let go as fast as he had seized it. Boromir had instinctively readied his sword in battle position, and by the time he figured out what was happening Aragorn had his own sword drawn and stood in front of Legolas while Pippin tried to retreat.

The Hobbit, in his attempt to run away as fast as his little legs would carry him, plowed himself between Aragorn's knees and as a result brought the king of Gondor down onto the Prince of Mirkwood in a flailing heap of Elf arms and human legs. Pippin felt power rush through his veins and surge into his heart, and he latched his fingers around Boromir's three middle fingers and attempted to pull him along.

With his fingers nearly torn from their sockets, Boromir could think of nothing to do but follow his (now regretted) accomplice. Gandalf was yelling about something down below (probably at them), and the sound of it threw Boromir back to a day in his childhood when he and his brother were running for the sake of their hides from their father. He felt ridiculous; like a boy more than a solider.

He risked a glance over his shoulder and saw something he would not soon forget, and almost forced laughter from his chest: Aragorn with his legs in the air, trying to get off of Legolas while the Elf indignantly tried to get to his feet while shoving the human off at the same time. 

"This way!" Pippin gasped from in front of him, and before he knew it he had his back flattened against a rock ridge that was a little past his height, with a panting Hobbit beside him. Boromir, finally catching up to his senses, looked down at Pippin with a mix of anger and doubt concerning what step to take next. Pippin held up the lock of golden hair and offered Boromir a triumphant smile. "We did it!"

"We did it?!" Boromir repeated savagely in a whisper (no need to let Gandalf know where they were) , and the young Took shrank away from the angry man. "The Dark Lord himself must have possessed me to agree to help you and your selfish little cause! I do _not_ wish to think of what Legolas and Mithrandir are planning for us upon our return!"

"Mithrandir?"

Boromir scowled and corrected himself, putting the wizard's name into simple terms. "Gandalf."

"I hope he doesn't spank us." Pippin murmured quietly, worry in his tone and sparking in his eyes. 

Boromir's own voice increased in pitch. "Us?" He could not think of anything more indignifying than being spanked by Gandalf the Grey. He shook his head to get the mental pictures from his mind and turned back to the Hobbit. "Well…what do you think we should do?"

"Stay here until Gandalf and Legolas aren't mad anymore.."

Boromir groaned. 

--- --- --- 

Legolas, who should have been first on his feet, was eventually pulled up by the last person he would have liked to be aided by. He grumbled a thank you to the Dwarf and brushed himself off, sliding a brief glance Aragorn's way. Gandalf now stood before them.

"Well…what was all this racket about? Where are the other two?" he asked, stroking his long grey beard in both irritancy and habit. He tipped his hat, once again out of habit, and scanned the rock. "Come, Aragorn, Legolas…what happened?"

"I…I am not sure." Legolas replied, sounding almost shaken. "First Boromir came to apologize to Aragorn about their earlier words, and then Pippin moved somewhere behind me. Boromir drew his sword and suddenly the young hobbit pulled my hair, let go, and shouted that Boromir wanted to kill me."

Aragorn moved behind the elf and ran his fingers over the softness of his hair, examining it. "It seems he did not simply let go, Legolas…a large chunk is missing."

"A large chunk?" Legolas spun around and his hands were instantly stroking his hair as though it were a traumatized child. "How large…?"

"Master Elf, that is the least of our concerns." Gandalf reminded the Prince of Mirkwood, and Legolas colored slightly at his own vanity. The wizard furrowed his thick brows and pushed the brim of his hat back enough so he could see fully around him. "We must find those two. I know you remember what happened last time we let the young Took wander off with that haughty soldier."

"Yes, well I would like to know why they wanted a chunk of my hair." Legolas said from somewhere behind Gandalf, and the wizard repressed a smile. 

"Somehow I get the feeling that Master Pippin was the ringleader of this mishap." said Aragorn to the wizard, and a smile crept on his face. "Boromir looked very puzzled, if the word fits, when Pippin announced that he wanted to kill Legolas."

There was an angry shout from behind a rock ridge, and all faces turned toward the noise. Gandalf rolled his eyes, and began to make his way over. "Well…at least we know where they are hiding. Excuse me, I will return shortly."

--- --- --- 

"You doltish, thick-witted, block-head of a Hobbit!" Boromir raged, and Pippin desperately begged him to lower his voice. "Every time I attempt to do you a favor I end up getting in some kind of trouble with that antique of a wizard!" 

"He'll hear you!"

"No he will not, Peregrin Took!" Boromir hissed, and cracked all ten of his knuckles. "Now I am going back up there and explaining every detail of your insipid plan and you are coming with me!" He roughly seized the Hobbit's arm and began to march back up the ridge. They had just passed it when cold fingers bit into the top of the captain's ear, and into the Hobbit's as well. Boromir froze, feeling blood rush to his face as an all too familiar voice hit him.

"Antique of a wizard…eh, Captain?" 

Boromir screwed his eyes shut and grimaced, but dared not move in the old man's grasp. Pippin was whimpering at his side. "You were not supposed to hear that – "

"I have been pinching your ear since you were crawling, Boromir of Gondor." the Wizard growled, but Boromir picked up the amusement in his voice as he refused to release the two and dragged them back to the camp by the ear. "I know that is not the first time you have referred to me as that." 

"I never called you old, Gandalf!" Pippin piped from beside him. "Will you let me go now?"

"No." The wizard replied, and Pippin wailed as his ear was pinched harder, and finally, they approached the Fellowship. Gandalf shook Pippin first. "I believe you owe Aragorn and Legolas an apology." 

"I'm sorry." he mumbled to the ground, and Gandalf released him. The Hobbit ran to Merry, rubbing his ear and sniffling loudly. Merry patted his cousin's shoulder but looked to Gandalf, who still held Boromir tightly. Boromir, however, did not respond to the pain of having his ear pinched.

"And you, Boromir. Do you have anything to apologize for?"

Boromir fought the urge to twist out of the wizard's grip, but paused, and then arched a brow. "Do I?"

"I would not think so, Boromir." Aragorn answered firmly, and looked to Gandalf. "Is that necessary, Mithrandir?" 

"I think he's enjoying it a bit much." Gimli pointed out, and it caused Legolas to smile despite himself. 

"I suppose the rest of the Company have declared you a victim in all this, Boromir." Gandalf released the tall man and gave his shoulder a firm slap. "But let us hope that news does not reach Gondor of her captain being controlled by the ways of a mischievous Hobbit."

With that, Gimli sputtered into laughter, followed by the clear, musical ring of Legolas' laugh and then the Hobbits. Even Aragorn could not help but release a quiet laugh (that later gave into a series of heavy, loud laughs), and Gandalf smiled.

The wizard gathered up his staff and pulled his hat back down to just above his brows, giving Boromir a gentle slap on the cheek. "I would say being the center of amusement among your comrades is punishment enough, eh?"

"Yes…sir." Boromir muttered, and the wizard roared with laughter, continuing slowly down to the gates. The captain scowled behind the wizard's back and folded his arms, turning his back on the Fellowship. Pippin stood beside him and mirrored his hero's stance. 

"Well…that wasn't so bad, eh, captain?" the Hobbit chimed, and Boromir shrugged.

"I suppose not. At least he did not spank us." when he looked down, he saw in the face of the hobbit an expression of victory and triumph, and he could not help but break into a smile. "And at least we succeeded. If 'succeed' is the word."

"We're underground conquering heroes." Pippin whispered to him. "And Gandalf doesn't know _we_ actually won!"

Boromir cast a glance over his shoulder at the departing Gandalf. "Antique of a wizard.." he muttered, and his heart leapt with sudden fear as the old man replied,

"I heard that."


	5. Stumbling Across Danger 1

a/n: What can I say? It's another two parter. Suspense is my thing now. For all those Legolas fans out there, there's some of him in here too, so enjoy! By the way, thank you all for your reviews ! 

Thanks to:

**MarigoldG **[I'm glad you saw my attempt to make Boromir the older-brother type figure. That was the idea, and it's encouraging to see that somebody got it! Thanks for your review, they're always very nice to get!],  **Pervinca **[No, it's not the end! I love these two as well ^.~ ], **D45 **[I'm glad you liked it! Like I said, not the end. Thanks for sticking with the story!], **Meir Brin** [This was inspired by your suggestion to do something with Legolas, so thanks a bunch for the idea. I admit, I was running a little dry…thanks for the encouragement and for sticking with the story ^.^], **Mr. BittleWinkle **[ ahh ::blush:: now I'm embarrassed ^^. Thank you for your review!] and last but not least **Resisting Arrest **[ Thanks ^^, I try. By the way, I love the penname]. Thank you all for your reviews. Enjoy the first part of the…fifth part…! 

Stumbling Across Danger 

[the fifth installment to 'A Cheap Shot']

"Mr. Legolas?"

"Be silent, Master Took." Legolas whispered in the eerie darkness, and laid a light hand on Pippin's small shoulder. "It has only been several hours since we entered Moria, and already you feel the need to complain. We are wet and Moria is cold. A Hobbit voice can get very unnerving in a silent darkness."

"But, Mr. Legolas – "

"I said be quiet and I mean it."

Pippin looked up and glared at him despite the fact that the glare was only lost in the blackness. He curled his hands into fists and shoved them into his pockets, the set his chin stubbornly forward as his brows drew down. "You're still holding a grudge because I took some of your hair."

"Do not remind me, Master Peregrin, I am not one to take pleasure in the thought of sneaky little Halflings stealing my hair." the Elf's voice was uptight and Pippin could tell that Legolas still, indeed, held the grudge. He gave a ragged sigh and rolled his pale eyes. He just did not understand why sometimes Elves could be more intolerant than Men. Boromir was never cross with him – 

Pippin's little mouth widened into a grin. That last thought had been a lie – Boromir was always cross with him, but he still did not mind as much. Boromir would always sit next to him after their quarrels and tell him stories of Gondor and such, and eventually (though very reluctantly) apologize. 

"I'm sorry for stealing your hair, but I think I mentioned that." Pippin replied smartly, hovering close to the Elf's hip so he would not lose his way. The Mines were dark and the rock beneath them was uneven, so he had to stay close or fall into some unknown pit. Only Gandalf's staff guided them in direction. "Do you want it back?"

"Tell me, Master Took, what would I do with a detached lock of my hair?" Legolas' voice was annoyed, and hearing an Elf use that tone was amusing. "Tie it back to the hewn strands with my bowstring?"

"Oh, so now I'm Master Took again. I thought I was Master Peregrin."

"Can you find nothing better to do than nag me, my good Hobbit?" Pippin smiled once more, and this time he felt Legolas looking at him with a little less than friendly eyes. "Go and plague Boromir with your nonsense." The next words spoken by the Elf were in no way cruel – there was a bit of a smile in his voice, he meant what he said. "Or better yet, Gandalf."

"But I always plague Boromir. And by the way, Gandalf separated us, remember?" Pippin's brow creased in a frown. "I don't know why he would do such a mean thing."

Legolas exhaled softly. "I cannot imagine why, either." he replied with tired sarcasm, and placed a gentle hand on the Hobbit's back to push him forward so he could keep better track of him. The Hobbit had not been watching where he was headed and his nose crushed painfully into something hard and covered in leather. Boromir yelped and turned blindly to see what had smacked him in the back. 

"Sorry Boromir." Pippin said through a flat voice as he rubbed his nose painfully. "I didn't see you."

"Well neither did the Elf, obviously." Boromir growled. He was feeling a little rude at the moment from the embarrassment of actually letting out one of his rare high-pitched yelps. All eyes seemed adjusted to the lack of light, and Legolas could see the man of Gondor's glare through the darkness. "You were supposed to be watching him."

"Well you were supposed to be walking faster than a snail, my good Captain." Legolas replied coolly, and Pippin laughed quietly at Boromir's incoherent grumbling. "Go…we're already nearly separated!"

"This is the last time I take up the rear with you." Boromir's voice was hard as he directed the vow to Legolas, then glared at the laughing Pippin. "Or you."

Pippin outright giggled this time, and took a wide step forward in a move to give Boromir what he needed: a big bear hug around the knees. But just as his foot moved out, it hit the thinness of air and the Hobbit fell. Legolas, both surprised and now disturbed, reached down with quicker than sight arms and tried to snatch the Hobbit before he fell. Unfortunately, a Dwarf's city is no place for an Elf, and Legolas lost his balance in the rocky terrain and stumbled forward.

Now Boromir reached out to catch the Elf who had reached out to catch the Hobbit but the weight of the two and the velocity of the event only brought them all down in a heap of arms and legs and cries of distress. First Pippin hit, then Legolas' light body, and then Boromir's brawny self hit the stone ground. 

Legolas groaned. "What happened?"

"We fell into a crevice."

"I have established that, Boromir." Legolas snapped, and the tall man growled a rude reply. "I meant 'where did the crevice come from? The others were far ahead of us and should have warned us of it!"

"They probably did." Boromir answered slowly, peering up into the darkness. Only slivers of light filtered through cracks high in the mountain. "But we were so far behind it would have been difficult to hear even one of Gandalf's shouts."

"You hear them so often I trust your judgment." The Elf held a priggish tone and Boromir felt his face heat up in ire but he kept it to himself. He resented the fact that the Elf knew all too well his relationship with the wizard and did not keep his comments and opinions to himself. 

"Maybe if we all shout very loudly…" Pippin, first on his feet, sucked in a breath and began to yell out Gandalf's name when four hands and two bodies scrambled with the best of their might to silence him. The result was Pippin flat on his stomach with Legolas arched over him and trying his best to hold himself up and keep Boromir from crushing the two of them. 

Boromir peeled himself off of Legolas after a moment and whispered harshly to the Hobbit, "Have you lost what little sense you had to begin with?! This is a mine! If rocks are not disturbed and fall down here to bury us alive, then goblins will certainly hear you!"

"Aye, try and keep silent, Master Took." Legolas agreed in the same whisper, and pulled himself off of Pippin and to his feet. "They will find us soon enough, but until then remain silent and still. And stay away from Boromir." Boromir made a face at Legolas and the Elf saw, but stuck his nose in the air proudly. Pippin seemed oblivious, but he felt around for the wall and leaned his weary little body against it. 

The Hobbit looked around with his adjusted eyes and saw that the structure they had fallen into was wide and deep. How could the Fellowship have missed it? He inched with his back to the wall, his thin shirt providing no protection against the sharp rock. He ignored the tiny bit of pain, however, and continued to explore.

Boromir and Legolas were arguing about Legolas' last comment and did not seem to notice him. He turned his attention back to exploration: it seemed like the crevice narrowed as it approached the east and became lower and lower. So low that he could reach up and touch the rocks with his palms. He did, but when he pressed it, pebbles, dirt and small rocks tumbled down onto him. He spit and coughed it out, and retreated back to where Legolas was spouting whispered Elvish curses indignantly while Boromir looked on in bewilderment.

"It's kinda loose back there." he told them, but was ignored. Pippin repeated himself once more but gave up and went to go sit back against the hard wall. He hugged his knees and rested his chin on them, waiting for something interesting to happen (a man arguing with an Elf was just stupid).

It just so happened that a foot away from Peregrin Took's shoulder was a curious centipede. It scuttled around above him as if deciding what to do, then, being a centipede and being magnetically attracted to any partial opening of clothing, it slid down the back of his shirt.

Pippin screamed in response to the feel of something with more than two legs traveling down his back, and both Man and Elf snapped their gazes to him in surprise. Pippin panicked a little, jumping around and such while shaking his shirt out, but Legolas and Boromir were not looking at him. 

The fear in their eyes was directed toward the collapsing eastern end of the crevice.

to be continued…


	6. Stumbling Across Danger 2

**Author's note: **This week has been hectic beyond the meaning of the word, and I'm sorry I haven't updated lately. Good news though, for anyone that cares: I'm improving in Latin and my teacher no longer sees me as an unworthy outcast! Yay!  Ahem…anyways, I know you'll all hate me for this but I give you another cliff hanger. You see, this installment (**stumbling across danger**) is going to be over two parts long because I had a brain wave for a twist instead of the usual. ^^  So expect a part three to this! Anyways, thank you all ( MarigoldG, Miss Pennyworth, Mr. BittleWinkle, Sunflower, Mome Wrath, Meir Brin, and D45  ^.^ ) for your wonderful reviews! I hope you enjoy and decide not to kill me for making it a three parter!

**- Zeech**

Stumbling Across Danger [part two] 

"Gandalf…Mr. Frodo is still cold and wet from that nasty creature…and seeing as how we've been traveling for.." Sam counted out five fingers before continuing, "Over five hours, can we stop and maybe have a bite to eat?"

The old wizard removed his hat and nodded, looking around for a flat, sturdy surface big enough for them all to rest on. He signaled for them to follow to a clearing under a large jagged cliff of a rock piece, and soon the Fellowship was resting. Sam offered some water to Frodo, but the other Hobbit declined.

"Ah, I don't like this place." Merry said as he looked into the shadowy crevices and the looming rocks above him. "Not enough light and too much rock. I want to see grass and trees."  He scooted closer to where Aragorn and Sam were inspecting Frodo for bruises or breaks. "Strider, do you know where we are?"

"No, and neither does Gandalf, so do not pester him, Meriadoc." Aragorn answered in a quiet voice. His words were harsh but his voice was kind, and Merry plopped against the same wall that Frodo was propped against. "Go pester Boromir a while." the ranger gave a smile that almost rivaled Peregrin's best mischievous grin, and added, "It's always entertaining to watch you two converse."

Merry gave a quiet snicker, but Gimli pointed out what the rest of them had neglected, "Where is Boromir?"

Frodo said upright at the Dwarf's words, large eyes bounding from one depressing corner of their rest stop to the next. He asked Aragorn, in an alarmed voice, "And where is Pippin?"

"Legolas is missing too." Aragorn murmured, and looked to Gandalf. The wizard was now on his feet and looking very displeased. It was no laughing matter to be lost in the Mines of Moria, nor was it even a sort of matter to take lightly. The Mines were a dangerous place, and being lost in such darkness could mean the disappearance of their comrades forever or a good two day delay. Gandalf beckoned Aragorn over and the ranger got to his feet, walking about ten paces away from the remaining company.

"We cannot allow the Halflings to panic." Gandalf replied, looking very grim. Aragorn shook his head. 

"No, we cannot. But Mithrandir…I do not even remember last seeing them. I spoke briefly to Boromir as he handed me Frodo when the entrance was destroyed, and then to Legolas a minute after…but that was five hours ago." 

"Aye, the path was dark. I did not think to keep glancing back because I held the light…I had not even considered the possibility of losing them." he leaned on his staff wearily and exhaled softly, bringing a knarled hand up to stroke his beard and Aragorn caught the frown on the wizard's forehead. "I expected more out of Denethor's heir and leagues more from Thranduil's."

"Peregrin is also missing." Aragorn reminded him. "Perhaps that explains some of it."

"No doubt it does." Gandalf replied, and he now seemed greatly stressed. Before turning to the rest of the group he murmured to Aragorn, "Do remind me to inform Denethor of his son's disobedience, will you, Aragorn?"

The ranger would have laughed if not for the severity of the situation. "Let us first find them before you elect me tattle-tale of the Steward's heir." Gandalf nodded, and Frodo got to his feet once the wizard and the ranger turned to face them. Frodo looked terribly worried.

"Gandalf?"

"Everything is alright, Frodo, I assure you. All of you. We must think, not panic." Gandalf said evenly, and narrowed his eyes at Sam, who looked worse than Frodo did. "Samwise Gamgee, do not start blubbering! Though it may help bring them to us with the terrible sound, it will certainly attract the fell beasts of these parts!"

"I wont, Mr. Gandalf, I'm only worried is all." he replied respectfully, if not a little indignantly. "No telling what Mr. Pippin will get himself and the others into out there."

"I hardly find it possible to disagree with you there, Samwise." Gandalf replied grimly. "But we all must think. Where did we last see them?" Sam prepared to answer, but suddenly his body went ridged and his heart stopped when a cream echoed about the walls and around the company. 

Frodo looked up as if expecting to see something, and his features were distorted with frozen fear in the light of Gandalf's staff. "That was Pip!"

"We have no time to lose. We must follow it –" A rumbling followed the noise, and then all was still. The wizard nodded for the company to follow him. "Come, quickly. Do not lose me, or you may end up like our three lost companions."

--- --- --- 

It took Legolas no more than a fraction of a second to react. He seized Pippin with both arms and gave Boromir the command to run. Gondor's captain wasted no time in joining the Elf that dashed into the darkness with the hobbit. Unaware of their destination and blind in the darkness, the only thing they could think to do was run away from the sound of the collapsing rock. The entire crevice seemed to be falling on top of them. 

Pippin looked behind and above them as Legolas ran, seeing more light glinting off the falling rocks and onto the small path. It was such a faint light that it made little difference, but at least it was something. Legolas gave a cry suddenly, and Pippin nearly wet himself at what he saw. The rocks were before them as well as behind them!

"Pippin, stop screaming, you are only aiding it! Boromir, no, _this_ way!" Legolas hissed, and Pippin suddenly realized that he had been shouting in fear without even hearing himself. He quickly bit off the last sound of his wail and squeezed his eyes shut. He heard Boromir hiss something to Legolas, and all at once he was on the ground with Legolas crouched over him. In the back of his mind he felt Boromir's body heat next to him as well, but not close enough under the little shelter Legolas had found. Pippin had no time to look up. "Cover your head!" Legolas bellowed above the horrible noise, and he now he did not seem to care that his voice was only making an avalanche of the situation. 

The rocks fell all around them in a terrible rain, and twice Pippin swore a rock was heading straight for him, but refused to look up. Boromir made a noise that sounded like a yelp, and finally, like a storm coming to an abrupt stop, the sound and the shaking ended. Legolas, still crouched protectively over Pippin with his arms covering his head, slowly unfolded from his position and gazed up and around them in awe. The rocks, now all balancing on one another, had fallen right above them to form an arch. If they had slipped any further, and had their time been any different, the three members of the Company would have been dead.

"Cautiously.." Boromir's voice whispered in the dim, dim light. "Any movement could trigger our demise."

"I can see over this pile…" Legolas replied, squinting into the darkness and then looking up at the high walls of the gap they had fallen into. "It does not reach to the surface. I fear it will not aid us in climbing out; that is was what I had hope for."

Boromir lightly dusted himself off and climbed to his feet, then held out a hand to the Hobbit. Pippin grasped his forearm with both hands and allowed himself to be pulled up, but then latched on to Boromir's leg. He knew he was behaving like a child, but he was still so frightened he did not care. A crumbling mine was no place for a Hobbit, so he felt he had the right to show fear!

"Pippin, let go…the worst is over and I require two legs to walk." Boromir's voice sounded strained as he attempted to pry the Hobbit's fingers from the bend of his knee, and hearing this, Legolas turned around and examined him with his keen eyes. He noticed Boromir's stance was rigid. Rigid with pain.

"Boromir, are you well?" he inquired, and Boromir's eyes snapped up to meet his. "You were not hit, were you?"

"I…yes, one of the small rocks…boulders…hit me, but it is nothing more than a bruise. I am quite well, Master Elf." The man's tone was somewhat irritated, and Pippin (fear now drained and replaced with annoyance) rolled his eyes. Now they had gone back to referring to one another with wry formality. 

"Where are we?" Pippin piped up to break the ice between the two. "How…how far did we run?"

"That I do not know," Boromir answered, and Pippin looked up to see him observing their surroundings will a little less than patience. "Feh, and they say Elvish instincts outwit a man's. Well, Master Peregrin, that just goes to show you that the world is usually _wrong_ about everything they say."

"Alas for all Middle Earth when the fair folk leave it to your kind!" Legolas retorted, and Pippin's gaze whirled to the Elf now and saw that his green eyes sparked in indignation. "Should a rockslide ever rain upon Minas Tirith I certainly hope the _rest_ of you have the sense to flee from the rocks instead of crouching directly in their path."

"I have always thought it better to face an onslaught then run like an insensible thing and lose one's self control." Boromir growled, and added with a note of triumph, "Or in the case of your people: brushing your hair and bathing every minute of every hour!"

Legolas' nose wrinkled in a smirk. "Yes, well, it's quite obvious _you_ disagree with the concept of bathing." Another growl from Boromir and Legolas continued dangerously, "It would do you some good to spend a day with the fair folk, they might teach you to use a bar of soap – "

"Legolas, please! That's enough from you two!" Pippin suddenly hissed, and both man and elf suddenly looked quite embarrassed. The hobbit snorted. "Humph, and Gandalf calls _me_ the 'fool of a Took'. There's no time to argue. We need to find a way back to the rest of the Fellowship."

"The halfling is right, Legolas, stop your bickering –"

"_My_ bickering?!"

"Yes, Master elf, you are not the first being on this planet to ever resort to petty retorts –"

"Well neither are you, apparently."

Boromir narrowed his eyes at Legolas but said nothing in return. It was now clear among the three of them that there was no room to bicker, only room to try and find a way back to their comrades.


	7. Stumbling Across Danger 3

**a/n: **Eheh…another part three is here. Yay! Okay, don't all cheer at once…anyways, I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed and decided not to kill me, and I hope you practice the same thing this time around ^.^ What can I say? Leggy is stubborn and so is Boromir, but I hope I didn't make them out of character towards the end of this part (read and tell me! Honesty is golden (unless you could get in trouble, but even then it's always a good thing) !). Enjoy!

**Stumbling Across Danger [part three]**

Pippin looked up into the darkness and once again saw the streams of light filtering down, but they were no longer bright. 

"Night approaches on the outside." Boromir remarked as though reading the hobbit's thoughts, and Legolas nodded in agreement. "When the sun leaves us it's going to be near impossible to go anywhere until dawn filters in."

"Aye, and cold. I certainly hope you still have your pack with you, Peregrin."

"If it's any colder than it is now, I don't know if I'll manage." Pippin replied, but reached back to brush the tips of his fingers against the bundle on his shoulders. "I only have one blanket and there are three of us." he looked from man to elf, and then back again. 

"It doesn't matter, Pippin, I do not need a blanket, and neither does Legolas." he cast a suspicious glance at Legolas, but continued to speak in a civil tone as he carefully stepped around the rocks and felt them fallen rubble with his hands. "We need to find a sturdy place where we can pull ourselves up. Legolas, check that side, and Pippin, you try that side."

Legolas gave a curt nod and moved only about twelve feet from Boromir and peered through the failing light. One of his slender hands gentle nudged the sloped bed of rocks and they growled at him. He instinctively sprung back and earned a glance from Boromir. 

"Loose?"

"Very." Legolas replied, asking in turn, "What about your side, Peregrin?" His answer was a soft rumble and a yelp, then Pippin was behind him. He looked at the hobbit with no real interest, and Pippin waved as though to apologizing for momentarily valuing his own safety over Legolas'.  "Boromir?"

"It seems possible. The boulders here are very large and could probably support us, but we would need to climb one at a time." Boromir stroked his beard in thought for another moment, and then shook his head. "But that would mean two of us would have to wait down here and could get crushed. If we go up, we should go together."

"But the weight will bring us all down." Legolas reminded him.

"What other options do we have? Leave two of us down here to be beaten into a raw bloody pulp if something slips – "

"That is disgusting, Boromir!" The elf hissed. "You do not have to go out of your way to be crude."

"I will do my best to remember that." Boromir replied, and both warriors regarded each other suspiciously for a moment, but it was the hobbit that forced them to keep moving. Boromir suggested that Pippin go first, then Legolas because they were closest to women and children and the men of Minas Tirith always brought women and children to safety first. Legolas did not at all appreciate being compared to a woman and refused to go up the rocky path unless Boromir should go beside him. 

Pippin rolled his eyes at the arguing going on behind him and he paused in his climbing and looked over his shoulder. "Legolas? Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Legolas stopped in mid-sentence and looked at Pippin as if the hobbit had just announced the moon was green, but replied breathlessly, "No, Peregrin, what is it?"

"Elves are supposed to be the noblest and wisest creatures on earth, right? Superior to men?" Legolas nodded and Boromir growled. "So why are you arguing with Boromir? I mean…if he's so below you why are you bothering to try and rough him up?" Legolas stared at Pippin blankly for about four seconds with his jaw hanging open, speechless. "I was just curious…" Pippin added after a moment.

Legolas opened and closed his mouth several times before stopping to think, and then opened and closed his mouth twice more before saying, "That is a very good question, Peregrin. But I do not know why I am bothering to reply to his petty insults. Excuse me."

The elf nimbly leapt up the rocks and quickly caught up to and passed Pippin, while the hobbit stayed put and waited for Boromir to climb next to him. Pippin whispered to Boromir in the darkness when Legolas seemed to be out of ears reach (how unfortunate they forgot he was an elf and had splendid hearing), "Boromir?"

"What?"

"Why does Legolas argue with you so much? The other elves don't seem to mind men. Infact they all like Strider!"

"Yes, well, Aragorn was raised by the fair folk, Pippin." Boromir replied, and then whispered back in an even lower tone, "And Legolas is a proud, spoiled prince."

"So are you, in a manner of speaking."

Boromir scowled and used one of his free hands to push the hobbit up the rocks by his backside. "Be quiet and climb."

"Sorry, Boromir."

"Do not be sorry, be quiet!"

_Big people can be so uptight. Almost as bad as elves. _He thought, and Pippin climbed and climbed for what seemed hours, finally coming up beside Legolas (who had been waiting for them a while, not wanting to get separated). Together they waited for Boromir, and when he came to rest beside them, they studied their progress.

"We made it to the top!" Pippin cheered in a kind of whisper-laugh tone, and both Legolas and Boromir shushed him. He rolled his eyes.

"We seem to be at the surface once more." Legolas told them, running one of his long fingers over what felt like flat ground. Light had left them roughly an hour ere their victory and they were now alone in complete darkness. Legolas gave a sigh and crawled blindly to the surface.

Boromir handed the Pippin to the elf, and Legolas pulled the hobbit safely up and next to him. Then he absently held an arm out for Boromir to grip, and after a second of silence and stillness, one of Boromir's large hands reached up and grasped the elf's forearm. Legolas leaned back and pulled the man up with surprising strength, receiving only a muttered thank you. 

"You are quite welcome." Legolas replied but his tone did not reflect his words in the least bit, and Pippin once again had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Why could these two just get along? Pippin saw the outline of Legolas wrap his arms around himself and noticeably repress a shiver, and it reminded him suddenly how cold he was. 

"Boromir, I'm freezing!" the hobbit whispered, and he heard Boromir grunt an affirmative reply.

"Yes, it's very cold. I do not think they will find us before morning in this darkness. We should try and find a place to sleep whilst one of us keeps the watch." he moved slowly away from the group until he found what seemed to be a sturdy wall, and then sat heavily against it. The other two followed him, and Pippin of course took it upon himself to use Boromir's thigh as a pillow. The hobbit wrapped himself up in his blanket, but the still night and darkness only grew colder and colder.

Pippin shuddered in his sleep and finally woke, nudging his pillow to see if he was awake. "Boromir?"

"What?"

"I'm cold."

"So am I." Boromir replied, but motioned to the elf with his forefinger. "But Legolas must be even colder."

"I wish Merry were here." Pippin whispered, and moved closer to Boromir's warm body while trying to look like he wasn't at the same time. Boromir halfheartedly wrapped one of his solid arms around the hobbit and Pippin gratefully accepted it. "Merry always shared his blankets. He brought two, you know."

"That was smart of him. I did not think to bring any."

"You left 'em in Rivendell?"

"More or less." Boromir did not seem to be paying attention to the hobbit. His gaze was on the elf, who stood silent and still, but if Boromir looked long enough he saw an occasional shiver break the prince's composure. Legolas was trying very hard to make it look like he was not cold, but was failing miserably. "Legolas." he called in a voice just above a whisper, and the elf turned.

"What?"

"Come and sleep with us. Or if you won't sleep, at least huddle. You must be freezing!" Pippin called, mimicking the Captain's tone. Legolas looked back as though considering it greatly, but only shook his head once and turned back to the night. "But you're shivering!"

"I am most certainly not!" Legolas snapped, but did not turn around. He must have let his guard down, because he shivered twice more in as many seconds, and the hobbit took it upon himself to unlatch Boromir's arm from him and, despite how cold it was to be away from Boromir, scampered up to where Legolas stood.

"Legolas, you're like ice, don't just stand here and catch a cold!" Pippin pleaded, grabbing one of the elf's idle hands and feeling just how icey he really was. "Come on, Boromir won't mind."

"Elves do not catch colds." Legolas replied, but followed reluctantly where Pippin pulled him. The hobbit settled on Boromir's left, and the man mockingly patted the seat on his right. Legolas gave a rather nasty look to the man, but took the seat nevertheless. He had to admit, it was warmer by Boromir (who seemed to be radiating heat).

"Kind of makes you wish you had brought a blanket after all." Boromir remarked in the darkness of the drafty, freezing mines, but his tone held no mock or challenge. In the same tone and even the slightest bit of a smile, Legolas replied as he scooted closer (but not _too_ close),

"I will be sure to remember that next time, Boromir."


	8. Stumbling Across Danger 4

a/n: Sorry, I know it took forever. I've been sick (as usual) and spent the past few days bedridden and couch ridden – HA! wish I would have. I spent the past few days dogging it all out at school. Anyways, here it is and I hope you enjoy. I might write a little more to this particular tale concerning Legolas and Boromir, but it's not a promise. Thank you all for reviewing! 

Enjoy!

Stumbling Across Danger [part four] 

"Wake up, Merry! Meriadoc, wake up!" 

The hobbit moaned in his sleep and writhed a moment in the ranger's grip, then bolted up with wide, fearful eyes snapped open. He dragged in frazzled gasps and finally seemed to regain some of his self control after Strider's large hand patted his back sympathetically. 

"I dreamed that Pip had been caught in a rockslide, and the three of them had been killed." Merry shook his head and hid his eyes behind small hands, remaining silent for sometime before he looked across their new camp to see Gandalf regarded him quietly. "I'm sorry, was I too loud? Did I wake the rest of you?"

"No, Meriadoc, it's quite alright." Gandalf replied with a smile, but Merry could see that the wizard's mind was on something else. "The cries in your sleep do not trouble me…you see, it's morning now and Aragorn and I found something…discouraging."

Merry looked over to where Frodo was looking ill with worry, and Sam was too. "What? What's discouraging?"

The wizard nudged his lit staff in the direction of a deep crack in rock and dirt, and when Merry looked closer he could not see the bottom of it. The two sides of the walls had been caved in and whatever had been at the bottom was as good as dead.

"No, Pip couldn't have been down there!" Merry protested, looking from one doubtful face to the next. "Pippin would have found a way out…he would have, I know it! He may…" Merry's voice cracked and he bit his lip hard for a moment to regain his self control, then continued, "He may be a blockheaded…jackass…tomfool sometimes, but if he was in so much danger he would have found a way out, Gandalf!"

When Merry's eyes met Strider's the ranger only lowered his gaze and did not reply. One of Gimli's warm hands came to rest on Merry's shoulder, but it came as no comfort to him. The wizard in his turn peered into the crevice and lightly lifted the brim of his hat to reveal thoughtful blue eyes.

"Aye, Merry…I think that, despite Peregrin's dull wit, he still has a Took spirit about him and with the aid of Legolas and Boromir…I think they had a chance." he said after a moment, and Strider stood to be by Gandalf, also looking into the crevice.

"Why did you not tell us last night?" Frodo asked, and Strider answered this time.

"You all needed your sleep." He said simply, and the hobbits all nodded solemnly.

"I…don't think I could've slept knowing what I know now, Mr. Frodo." Sam whispered, and pulled himself to his feet. "Begging your pardon, Mr. Gandalf, but I think we should get searching as soon as possible. There's no telling what sorta mischief Mr. Pippin has gotten himself into."

"Very well, Samwise." Gandalf said. "Merry, you will walk beside me and Aragorn, you take the rear. We're going to see if cannot follow this crevice and find clues to their fate, or their whereabouts." Merry slung his pack over his shoulder and stayed close by Gandalf's grey robe. 

You foolish Took! If anything has happened to you I'll make sure I give you a right good whack upside the head…and the tightest hug I can muster.

--- --- ---

"We've been walking for ten minutes, Boromir!" Pippin complained, unsure of how long they had been walking. "Do you have any idea where you're going?"

"Yes." 

"I don't think you do."

Boromir turned on the hobbit. "Then YOU lead the way!"

"Well I would if your big self wasn't blocking it!"

"Oh quiet, Halfling." Boromir ordered casually as the Hobbit shoved in front of him, quickly cupping one of his large gloved hands tightly about the Hobbit's chin and mouth. Pippin squirmed around a bit, but Boromir did not pay attention. His eyes were scanning the darkness, and he peered around the shadows of jagged rocks. There was something moving without sound, but he saw the silhouette caught in the slivers of light that filtered from above. "Pippin, do you see that?"

"Mmmggggannnttheeaanneetthhhiiiiiin!" 

Boromir turned his hip a bit so that Pippin could see into the darkness, but before the Hobbit could attempt to speak again the figure leaped out at them. Boromir yelped and stumbled backwards onto his rear end with Pippin on top of him, but instantly was he on his feet with his weapon drawn. After seeing the unmoved blue eyes, he sighed and sheathed his sword.

"Legolas. I did not see you leave us."

"Legolas, don't ever do that again!" Pippin hissed, rubbing his rump with both hands; when Boromir had scrambled up he had landed full force on his backside. "Boromir is a jumpy, 'fraidy cat and – "

"Did I not tell you to be quiet?" Boromir inquired firmly as he unconsciously brought both hands to his tailbone to see if he had seriously bruised anything. "Legolas, where did you go?" The Elf glanced over his shoulder and shook his head.

"Though it gives me no pleasure to say, I believe we are heading in the opposite direction we should be." Legolas pointed a slender finger past Boromir's head, and he turned to see what the Elf was pointing at. "We fell a good distance from that rock formation…you see, when the rocks fell we ran without knowing where. We thought we had stayed in the same crevice, when in reality we ran into another one."

Boromir's brawny shoulder's sagged, and he exhaled sharply. "So when we thought we had made it to the surface we never really did? It was just…back where we fell?"

"Aye."

"Well where do we go, Legolas?" Pippin asked from beside Boromir, and both sets of eyes snapped to the hobbit as if just noticing him. This irked Pippin's patience – why did tall people always seem to over look him?! "Did you at least find a path?"

"Yes…if I see right, our path is just ahead. We should turn around completely and walk straight, then see if we can find a way up those fallen rocks."

Pippin brightened. "Good! The sooner I hear Gandalf yelling at me for being a jackass the better I'll feel! Come on, you two! Don't just stand there looking like idle half-wits! I want warm food – " The hobbit was rudely cut off by two tall males moving swiftly past him and ignoring his complaining. He drew his brows down tight and folded his arms. "Fine then, I'll just stay right here until you're both ready to give a Took the respect he deserves – "

One of Boromir's rough hands seized the back of his little jacket and he was, yet again very rudely, pulled in stead with them.

--- --- --- 

"This time I know I heard it!" Merry chimed, pointing to where he had heard the strange yelp that sounded like Farmer Maggot when his dog had accidentally taken a chomp of where it hurt. "It came from…far over that way! Gandalf, I know it was Pip!"

"That was a bit deep to be Pippin." Aragorn murmured, and he locked eyes with the wizard. The ranger could not help a smile. "Boromir?" he mouthed silently, and Gandalf felt a smug smile of his own coming to his lips. 

"If he is well enough to yelp, then that is a good sign! Come, Meriadoc. We will trust the judgment of a Brandybuck and go in that direction." Gandalf held his staff out so that the white light at the end of it shone over the rocks. Sure enough, there was a deep crack in the stone and it let a while in the direction Merry had indicated. "Come!"

"Master Baggins, Master Samwise, I think it wise if you stay by me on this trek." Gimli said with a good grace despite the worry the Hobbits held. "Master Brandybuck has earned himself a place by Aragorn and Gandalf Greyhame!"

Merry laughed with the others, and it eased the tension a bit. He was still worried, as he was sure the others were, but it would do no good to just worry. He had to concentrate on finding Pippin and Boromir and Legolas. They walked for what seemed like hours, but Merry suddenly heard, as did the others, a sound of crumbling rocks and a complaint from a high pitched Hobbit-voice. Merry broke free of Aragorn's side and ran forward into the darkness despite Gandalf's calls to come back. 

--- --- --- 

"If I ever get up this stupid rubble pile I'm going to go home and marry Diamond!" Boromir rolled his eyes and gave Pippin's bottom another boost with his shoulder. Legolas was at his side, listening quietly and not bothering to start up anymore arguments. "I love her, and I want to marry her!"

"You're not even of age yet, Pippin. Just concentrate on climbing, will you? OOOMPH!" Pippin stumbled backwards onto Boromir and his shoulder blades hit the captain's forehead and snapped his chin upwards and his head back. Legolas' hand shot out to support Boromir should he fall, but it was not necessary. Boromir seized Pippin by the back of the britches and practically hurled him back up the rocks. "**Pay** attention!"

"I'm sorry, Boromir! I slipped!"

"Are you alright?" Legolas inquired quietly, and Boromir nodded but did not at all seem happy with the Hobbit's apology. The Elf continued to climb nimbly up the rocks, and only the tips of his fingers and toes seemed to ever come in contact with them. Boromir had no time to marvel – he had to shove a hobbit up the side as well as climb himself. 

"What are you going to do if you ever get out of here, Legolas?" Pippin asked, and the Elf looked over his shoulder with nothing more than a light glance.

"You speak as if we will never leave this place, Peregrin." he then continued to climb, but slower this time so they could hear his words without him getting too far ahead. "When I get out I expect I will do as I have this entire journey – "

"Squabble with Gimli?" Legolas looked a bit piqued but said nothing. Pippin asked this time, "What about you, Boromir?"

"Oh, you mean after Gandalf scolds my ear off?"

"Yes, after."

"I suppose I'll do what Legolas said."

"Don't you want to get married?" 

"No." Boromir answered dryly, and when asked the same question, Legolas responded as Boromir had. The hobbit rolled his eyes and muttered something about boring big people, but only received another scoot from the captain.

"You know…despite all of this.." Pippin began, and made an effort to look his climbing companions in the face. "I kind of enjoyed it. I mean…you two became friends and that's a really big stretch. An arrogant cretin like you, Boromir, and an uptight priss like you, Legolas, is one odd pair." Legolas and Boromir exchanged glances and quirked their eyebrows in turn, but Pippin only continued, "I feel like I've done a good deed."

"I would not exactly call us friends just yet, Pippin." Boromir corrected the hobbit, and glance at Legolas once more. "But even an arrogant cretin can learn to trust an uptight priss." 

Legolas did not seem thrilled at his new title, but nodded in approval of the words Boromir had spoken. "True. I suppose an Elf can learn to trust an arrogant cretin."

"Then end your feud on that!" Pippin decided, forgetting Boromir had to support all of his weight with one hand. "Shake hands…from one arrogant cretin to another uptight priss!" The hobbit did not seem to be getting any results, but after complaining some he forced promises from both man and elf that once they were safe and on the surface they would indeed shake hands.

"Good. You two were starting to sound like Legolas and Gimli."

"And you were beginning to sound like that cobweb-collecting old wizard – " Boromir was cut off by a knarled old hand quickly the back of his jerkin, and was heaved up with surprising strength. Not all the way, of course, but enough so that a white light was shining painfully in his eyes, and his chin came just above the rock surface. Pippin had scrambled off somewhere, but Legolas was right beside him when he met the cool blue eyes of the wizard, and the gentle but smug old voice prompted,

"Cobweb-collecting old wizard, eh, captain?" 

Boromir groaned. "I really wish you would make more noise when you walk." And Gandalf pulled him up to safety.


	9. Stumbling Across Danger 5

a/n: This is a bit sad, really because it forshadows Gandalf's fall, and a certain other character's death. Funny and sad at the same time. Anyways, this concludes 'Stumbling Across Danger'. Don't worry, there's more to come. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews!

**Stumbling Across Danger [part five]**

Pippin was glomped by two very enthusiastic arms in a tight enough hug to make him lose his footing and have both of them fall onto the ground.

"Peregrin Took, if you ever run off like that again I'll be sure to have Farmer Maggot's dogs drag you around the Shire by your underpants three times 'round!" Merry scolded, but there was a note of glee in his voice that made Pippin want to hug his cousin even tighter. They shared one final squeeze and both got to their feet, looking to meet the eyes of Frodo and Sam. Frodo hugged Pippin first, and then Sam affectionately gripped his shoulder.

"What happened, Pip?! How did you get all the way down there?"

Gandalf turned from where he had been staring Boromir down like a child that had broken his father's best goblet and countered Merry's question with, "And I would like to know how two of Middle Earth's greatest warriors could not save a hobbit and themselves from a mere stumble in the darkness." His eyes once more shot to Boromir.

The captain straightened himself and cleared his throat for an explanation. "Well, you see, it was all my fault – "

"And mine, I should have been watching Pippin – "

"It was not your fault, elf, the credit goes to me for this mishap!"

Legolas narrowed his eyes. "It was I that continued the bickering and paid no attention to the path – "

Boromir closed the space between himself and Legolas in an act of aggression, seeing himself lose the argument, "Well I was dawdling third to the rear and did not warn the two of you of the crevice I had noted seconds earlier!"

"That is a lie, you could not have known it was there because you had been walking no where near it!"

"How would you have known that if you had not been paying attention to the path? Ha!" Boromir scoffed at the elf and basked in his own glory for about five seconds before it dawned on him that he had just named himself responsible for the accident. Why he had even demanded to take the blame entirely upon himself, he did not know. Perhaps in a way he meant to keep his promise with Pippin and shake hands with the uptight priss of an elf; but the thought also hit him that the 'uptight priss of an elf' was willing to lay the blame on himself.

He suddenly felt very stupid when every face smiled and every pair of eyes focused on him. Aragorn's lips kept trembling as though he were repressing a smile and was doing a very bad job of hiding it. Boromir only waited for the wizard's assault.

"Well, son of Denethor, it seems you have beaten the elf in the battle of the blockheads." Gandalf laughed and shook his head, tipping the brim of his hat back so he could look at the captain without an obscured view. He seemed intrigued when Legolas stood next to Boromir, and he smiled, but it lacked any kind of mock or ridicule. "But there was a lesson learned on this adventure, and though the rest of them may not see it, I certainly do." his glance strayed to Pippin. "And I'm sure Master Peregrin would agree with me."

"As do I, Mithrandir." Aragorn spoke up, and Boromir looked over at him once more. This time Aragorn smiled at him, and it mirrored Gandalf's admiration a bit, but mostly held amusement. "I believe we all have learned a lot from these little adventures in the past few days."

"Aye, we all have." Gandalf leaned on his staff, and by the expression on his face the Company knew a smarmy comment was on the way. "But I'm sure we all know who was the brains and who was the brawn in this situation." His eyes moved to Pippin, and he exhaled in tire. "And who was the fool."

"Objections, Mithrandir." Legolas spoke up in a clear voice, and his suddenness made Boromir nearly leap four feet in the air. "Master Peregrin held the intelligence among the three of us, and thought our situation out while Boromir and I were butting heads."

"And elf…butting heads with a man…unheard of." Gandalf murmured, then gave another ragged sigh. "Ah, these times are changing too quickly for me. I am far too old for this."

"I know."

"Boromir." Gandalf's voice was a rough bark kind of sound, but his clear eyes still held a twinkle of laughter. "You'll be and old man, too, one day. One day." he signaled for the Company to continue moving, and gave the three recovered members a particular glance when he said 'keep together'.

"Did you see them?" Merry asked in a quiet but amused tone. "Arguing over whose fault it was, but not in a way I've ever seen. What did you do to them, Pip, to make them friends?"

"Nothing…and Boromir says they're not friends." Pippin replied, arm around his cousin's shoulders and his cousin's arm around his shoulders. "He keeps saying that arrogant cretin's can trust uptight priss's or something like that. He's a funny fellow, that Boromir."

"All men are, I think." Merry answered. "Elves are, too. Elves are a very funny folk."

"Well…how many people have said Hobbits are a funny folk?" Pippin asked. "It's all a matter of opinion, Merry old boy. Come on, Gandalf says that up here we're going to start camp. I'm so hungry I could have eaten Bill!" 

"Bill would not have liked that one bit, Mr. Pippin." Sam said from the front of their traveling company. 

That night, when they sat around the campfire and ate Sam's stew, all thoughts of their terrible situation were left behind and replaced with laughter and stories of their homes. Elf and Man laughed together, and the company enjoyed the night with not one feud until days later. 

It was the last campfire that the nine walkers would ever have together.


	10. To the Bottle

a/n: this is like…the Return of the Becky! Yes, this very well may be the last installment of A Cheap Shot. I hope you all enjoy is as much as I have enjoyed writing it! Thank you all for your kind reviews and encouragement. And especially for giving me a chance to work with these two characters. I love you all! Happy Thanksgiving!

**To the Bottle**

Though mostly silence and quiet words had taken the remaining Fellowship for the past few days, Gimli could think only of the Lady Galadriel and Peregrin Took was not helping the situation. Gimli had seen the Lady once in the four days they had been there, but the brief glance he had received of her eyes was still etched into his heart, and her voice repeated itself over and over in his mind.

"Gimli, are you not hungry?" Legolas' voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up under heavy brows at the Elf. "The Lady's maidens have brought food to us…will you not eat with the Company?" Gimli grunted and gestured to a few meters in front of him where Pippin had acquired a white silk veil and wrapped it about himself, fluttering his eyelashes at Gimli every now and then in mockery over the Dwarf's feelings toward the Lady of the Wood. Legolas looked over at the hobbit and exhaled sharply through his nose. "I should have known."

"Just mention the word 'dinner' and it may stop him for now." Gimli rolled his eyes and pulled himself to his feet. Legolas pursed his lips and frowned, unsure how to react to the hobbit, but he straightened himself and nodded. 

"Right. Well…Gimli, let us go eat dinner…" the last few words were spoken in a louder tone, and Pippin's attention had been hooked and reeled in. A blur of white silk and dirty blond curls dashed past them and sailed over the table to under the pavilion some distance away. Legolas shook his head waited for Gimli to stand. "Have you yet toured the wood yet, Gimli?"

"Nay, I've been deep in thought."

"Then that will be tonight's plans. You must see the rest of the wood."

"If I could focus long enough I would be honored, Master Elf." Gimli pulled himself heavily to his feet and began to follow the Elf. When they passed Gimli's makeshift bed area the Dwarf paused. "Oh, Legolas, may I ask you for a favor?"

"What is it, Gimli?"

"Last night I took the liberty of making a brew from my homeland…I prepared it for a toast to Gandalf's memory we might have tomorrow night, would you be so good as to sample it for me?" The Dwarf's rough voice sounded sincere enough, and as Legolas' new good friend he trusted the Elf's opinion. "Before we got to dinner?"

Legolas hesitated, and then shrugged one of his shoulders, delicately moving his long wheat hair behind his back absently. "Dwarvish beer?"

"Yes."

"Well, I suppose so. Why not?" he followed the Dwarf into the grove of trees, and Gimli pulled a bottle with a smooth ale gleaming inside of it in the pale forest light. He poured a bit of it into a cup from his supplies and offered it to the Elf, who accepted it slowly, sniffed it, then sipped it. His face lit up. "I had always thought Dwarvish beer to be coarse…this is quite good, Gimli."

"Thank you, Legolas."

Pippin darted between Legolas and Gimli from the pavilion. "Will you two hurry up? Aragorn refuses to eat without you – " a low, menacing rumble came from his middle, and he scowled at the two of them. "You see? I'm going to starve!"

Gimli frowned. "Of course, Master Took. Come, Legolas, he's going to starve." Legolas silently followed with a wry grin on his pale lips. The hobbit was the first to sit down at the table, and seconds later the other three accumulated with a speed nearly quicker than even an Elf's eye. 

With Aragorn and the others already at the table Pippin felt compelled to apologize for his two late friends before shoving a forkful of something light and fluffy into his mouth, but knew it would only earn him a smack from Gimli and probably a wallop from Boromir. 

"I was talking to that Haldir fellow," Merry said pleasantly in the seat next to Aragorn, who towered over him even when seated in the delicate elven chairs under the pavilion. "Taught me how to throw a ladder up a meter into a tree in less than the time it takes for one of you,' he looked around the table as if he himself were the Captain of Lorien and the rest of them were mere mortals. "…To blink six times."

Legolas nodded with awe, not horribly impressed – but Merry, whom he had come close to in the past months, as he had with the rest of the company, was a hobbit and to get a hobbit anywhere near a tree was accomplishing much. 

"Haldir has always been one of great skill, in words as well as with the ways of scouting and fighting." Was all Aragorn had to say to that, and he chewed his food quietly, content to gaze distantly past Boromir's head. The Lady's words had taken the taller folk of the company into a worrisome world – Boromir was uneasy, Gimli was madly in love, and Legolas still grieved for Mithrandir. 

"Did he let you touch his bow?"

"Yes, Pip…he had to help me hold it up at first," Merry laughed. "Even a light elvish bow is too heavy for a hobbit." 

"But you held it, didn't you?"

"Yes, Pippin, I told you! I was able to hold it after a while." 

"It is beautiful here," Frodo commented quietly from beside Samwise. He looked to his plate. "I feel…at peace, for now."

"I do not." Boromir growled, elbows on the table top with his hands folded loosely near his chest, his dinner forgotten. Forgotten by him, not by Pippin.

"Boromir?"

"What?"

"Are you going to finish – "?

"No."

Pippin quickly pulled the man's plate over to his space of table and turned it on its side, emptying the contents onto his own plate. Aragorn would have laughed at the Took's selfish hording any other day, but he could not think of that now. He turned grey eyes to Boromir. 

"Are you not hungry?"

"I cannot think of food." The captain replied, running gloved hands wearily through his hair and giving an exasperated sigh. 

"Neither can I," Gimli replied gruffly, bearded chin on his palm. "Only one force occupies my mind."

"Does that force happen to wear white robes, has endless pale eyes and has a tendency to use its feminine beauty to petrify one senseless?" Aragorn asked playfully, eyes still drawn to his plate and his fork fighting with a potato slice. Gimli laughed this time, heartily. 

"Nay, not Legolas."

Legolas dropped his fork to his plate with a loud, sharp clamor and looked up rather indignantly while the company, even the distressed and weary, broke down in peals of heavy laughter. It drew the attention of several maidens and walked in song nearby, and a few other Elves glanced over to see what the noise was about. Legolas' mouth gaped open in a combination of confusion and insult. Gimli slapped a hand heavily onto the Elf's shoulder. 

"Forgive my torment, Master Elf!" he choked, and the company was still nearly asphyxiating themselves with laughter. Legolas accepted the apology but did not laugh, and finally the men and hobbits settled down and once again poked at their food with their forks (with the acceptation of the Hobbits, who scarfed their food down as well as the food of the members with no appetite). 

A few minutes after the dangerous encounter with Dwarvish humor Haldir approached the table, looking somewhat diplomatic, as if expecting to have to make peace with these howling travelers. Merry, however, swallowed his food immediately and smiled broadly.

"Haldir!"

"Master Brandybuck." Haldir gave a small inclination of his head and smiled. "It is good to see you again. I was wondering if I could steal you from your company once more? You still owe me the story of the four nights you spent in Farmer Maggot's cornfield." Haldir and Merry shared a brief, light laugh, and the Elf looked upon the other members of the company. "I trust you are all well?"

"We are, thank you Haldir." Aragorn replied, and a few affirmative grunts followed from the others. "Meriadoc here tells us you have been training him in the art of climbing trees."

"Aye, it is true." Haldir looked behind him for a moment, then back to Merry. "Would you join me, Meriadoc?"

"Gladly." Merry stood and waved to the company, who in turn gave half-hearted goodbyes as he ran to catch up with Haldir, who already was walking down the path to where he and his company set temporary post. Pippin also pushed his chair from the table and stood, yawning. 

"That was delicious." he looked around. "I could use a walk." 

"Go on, then, enjoy yourself." Boromir told the Halfling, getting up as well. "I am going to rest…I have not slept in many nights." 

"See that you do rest, Boromir." Aragorn said to him as he walked around the table and back to the pavilion that held their small camp. "You look weary." Boromir said nothing, just stretched out on the bedroll, folded his hands over his chest, and closed his eyes. 

"What a dullwit," Pippin muttered, disappointed that his friend would rather sleep than go have fun in the woods with him. He waved to Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, and moved over to the pavilion where Boromir slept, crouching by his prone body and waving a hand over his closed eyes. "Boromir," he whispered.

The Captain's brows furrowed, but his eyes did not open. "What?"

"Let's go with Merry and Haldir."

"I am exhausted." Boromir snapped. "Leave me be."

"Well we don't have to be with Merry and Haldir…"

One eye opened. "Took…"

"We could go talk to those pretty Elvish maids…I saw them give you a second glance…"

"Go away."

"Of course that was after they couldn't tear their eyes off a handsome lad like me. Don't know why they'd even look at you, you're dirty and scruffy and you growl a lot – "

"Let me sleep!" Boromir suddenly roared, coming instantly to a sitting position and drawing his sword from it's sheath in one smooth motion that made Pippin squeak and duck for cover, and made Aragorn and the two other Fellowship members turn and see what was happening. Aragorn exhaled sharply. 

"Pippin…"

"Sorry." The Hobbit gave a nervous grin and, while he for once stood taller than Boromir, reached down to ruffle the Captain's hair as was done to him over and over. "Go to sleep, Boromir, I won't bother you." Boromir grumbled and settled back down while the Hobbit retreated further under the pavilion. He wanted to find something to do, desperately, because he was so horribly bored. Pippin moved around the large pavilion.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and glanced around the camp area boredly, once again thinking back to the old days in the Shire when Gandalf would knock him on the head with that comfortingly heavy staff of his and then sitting him down to tell him stories of Elves and of Men… Pippin's gaze wandered over to Gimli's bed area, and his eyes widened.

Something glinted in the ethereal light of Lorien that filtered down from the gaps in the trees. 

A bottle.

A bottle with something smooth and light brown. 

Pippin smiled. He could depict a bottle of liquor from a mile away. He glanced over his shoulder, seeing Gimli and Aragorn were being led away by Legolas and a few other elves on their official tour of the Golden Wood. Good. That would keep them busy. The Halfling dashed over to Gimli's area and pulled the white softness up and curled his little fingers around the cold neck of the bottle, slipping it under his jacket and moving away from the site. 

He ran past the large tree where Haldir and Merry had stopped their drills and were now sitting side by side on a thick branch, talking and laughing about various things. The hobbit had really bonded with the Elf for some reason since they arrived, but Pippin could not concentrate on such things. Ale called him.

The hobbit dived behind one of the large trees and pressed his back against it, let out a deep sigh, and removed the bottle from under his shirt. Surely Gimli would not mind a taste. He pulled the cork out and tilted his head back, taking a little sip. Then another. And another. It was quite good, this Dwarvish beer. 

Half an hour later, the bottle was empty. 

And Peregrin Took was drunk. He got to his feet, smiled, feeling very warm and very relaxed. Unfortunately he had filled his stomach with brew and with elvish food, so the bottle would not longer stay under his shirt without being noticed. So he unbuttoned his pants and shoved it down the front of them, looking down to see if it was easy to see. No, just a little bulge. He put one foot in front of the other and walked forward, back to the camp. 

It was still empty, save for Boromir.  

Good thing Gimliss s'not here… he thought to himself, and could not help but smile again and again. He even laughed. He'd cut me in two…or s'three…or… his thoughts wandered, and he looked to Boromir, who looked like he was finally resting peacefully. Pippin moseyed over and plopped down onto Boromir's front, and the man's eyes flew open and he gave an undignified 'OOF!' . Pippin laughed.

"Peregrin Took, that's the last straw –" Boromir gave another sharp cry and tensed up, speaking through a tight throat as if pain itself denied him speech. "Pippin…off."

"Wha –?"

"Can't breathe…"

"Oh." Pippin rolled off and Boromir narrowed his eyes at the bulge in Pippin's pants. He went completely deadpanned.

"Pippin. What do you have in your pants?"

"Oh…s'it's a bottle and uh, can't tell anyone…"

Boromir recognized a strong scent around the Hobbit, and inwardly cringed. He reached out and yanked Pip closer by the collar of his shirt, and hesitantly reached into his pants and pulled the bottle out, looking at it from under furrowed brows.

"What is this?"

"Gimli's! Hide it, he'll cut me in half!" Pippin laughed when he said the words, and Boromir knew that Pippin was in big trouble. And Gimli was walking back. The heir of Denethor panicked and shoved the bottle under his pillow, and pulled the Took behind the tree he had slept against. He held a gloved finger before Pippin's pale little face and said quietly,

"Now you be quiet. Don't say anything and maybe they won't suspect you."

Pippin laughed and reached up, grabbing Boromir's light brown hair in both hands on either side of his head and yanked him down. He was now hysterical, and cried, "You look like a puppy dog!" Boromir snarled at the hobbit and pulled back but the result was a hobbit hanging from his head, and he caught the little fellow's fists in his own, completely enveloping them in his gloved hands.

"Pippin, be quiet!"

"Huhehehuhuh…" he lowered his voice to a whisper and leaned in close, so that his sweet ale breath was hot on Boromir's cheek. "I have a secrete to tell you…"

"What?"

"You can't fence! You're terrible at it!" he laughed and pulled away from Boromir, scrambling away but not fast enough to avoid Boromir's great arms scooping him up and smothering any sounds he made with a large gloved hand cupped over his little face. 

"I can too fence," he grumbled as he crouched behind the tree with the hobbit. Boromir of Gondor had yet again found himself entangled in a web of the Took's mischief. 

_to be continued…_


	11. To the Bottle 2

**To the Bottle [part two]**

Boromir had never truly thought far into the concept of drinking before battle, because he always preferred a clear head as he engaged the enemy, but while he desperately tried to keep all attention away from the intoxicated hobbit it dawned on him that when a soldier drank before a battle fear seemed to turn into instant courage. That was probably why Peregrin Took was mindlessly squirming and singing and yelling even though Aragorn and Gimli talked only a few meters away in the camp. 

"I am dead serious, keep quiet or I will feed you to Gimli and Aragorn skewered conveniently on the end of my sword!"

"Your sword? Do you mean the one you can't use?" Pippin giggled, and Boromir resisted the urge to throw hobbit over the nearest tree. Pippin wriggled out of Boromir's grasp and broke into a half-run, stumbling into the base of the first tree in his path. The hobbit craned his neck and stared up the long body of it with wonder, and then grinned madly. He latched a hand onto one of the low branches and began heaving himself up.

"What Took can't climb a tree?" 

"You." Boromir said firmly, snatching up Pippin's blue jacket with one hand and attempting to pry him off. The Took had an iron grip on the wood and would not budge, and the captain snarled in frustration (earning a laugh from the drunken hobbit), bracing his booted feet into the dirt and pulling harder. Gimli and Aragorn neared, and panic rose in Boromir's throat. "Pippin!"

"I'm goin' t' climb this tree – "

"No, you are not!" Boromir stopped pulling only to lean in and snare both arms around the hobbit's middle, and then he heaved backward with all of his might. Pippin yelped and released the tree easier than Boromir had anticipated, and both man and hobbit tumbled backward in a cursing, flailing heap of arms and legs. The outburst had caught both Aragorn and Gimli's attention, but Boromir was too disoriented by the crash to notice them as he groggily came to his senses again. Pippin just rolled off of his chest and laughed, unscathed for Boromir had broken his fall to the ground.

"Tha' was great!" he chimed, pushing off of the leaves and pouncing onto Boromir again. "Why don' we do it again? But this s'time I'll pull you off!"

The Captain grunted and shook his aching head, wordlessly shoving the hobbit aside and looking up to catch the sight of Aragorn and Gimli crouching around him, silently surveying him as if he too were drunk enough not to notice them. Instantly did Boromir scoot away from them, forgetting himself and how this must have looked, and tore Pippin away from Aragorn before the ranger could smell of the liquor scent emanating from the hobbit. 

"Boromir?" Aragorn knitted his brows in confusion as Boromir regarded him with a dead stare of silence and shock that lingered between them. The ranger broke the stare to give the captain's knee a firm slap as if to wake him from this trance. "Boromir, are you all right?"

The Steward's son grunted and pushed back more in the leaves, pulling himself to his feet and making sure to push Pippin behind his legs to keep the attention wholly focused on himself. But Pippin had other plans, and laughed loudly, then stooped to all fours and tried to crawl through the gap between Boromir's legs. The captain quickly clamped his knees together, trapping the hobbit. Pippin squeaked. "We…fell…it was an accident, but we're fine…here."

Aragorn quirked an eyebrow at Boromir's stammering, and how he tried to back up with the hobbit still wedged between his knees. "You seem distracted." He remarked as he folded his arms and observed the scene, wondering what could possibly happen next. With Pippin involved, no one could ever tell.

"Distracted? No." Boromir released the hobbit from the grip of his knees and casually pulled him up by the wrist, dragging him along as they walked. "Come, Pippin." 

"'Ey, Boromir, know what?" Pippin stayed in place and would not follow.

"No, what." It was a flat, uncaring statement.

"If'n El'es had beards 'an ssuch you would be one hairy Elf!" 

Boromir did not bother trying to make sense out of that last comment and turned around to grasp Pippin's other wrist, pulling him harder. "Thank you for pointing that out, now come Pippin!"

Aragorn stepped forward, unable to watch this any longer, and inquired with the authority that Boromir resented before – though as the tone reached his ears, the captain did not feel the same envious twinge that always rose in his chest and made his jaw clench. He felt nothing. "Boromir, what is the trouble?"

Pippin laughed, but Boromir remained still, with his eyes fixed upon the ranger with inward debate on how to respond. He felt sudden guilt. Boromir wanted to tell Aragorn the truth, wanted to be able to create a bond of trust between himself the man who would one day be his King, no matter how meaningless the truth may have been at the time. Whatever he thought of the ranger, Aragorn was King, and he had grown to greatly respect the other man over the past months of their journey. And Boromir valued his friendship. 

But just as he opened his mouth to respond he remembered Pippin, and thoughts invaded his mind of the flashing horror that would cross the hobbit's face, no matter how drunk, when he discovered a friend had betrayed him. The tense silence ended, and Boromir said quietly, "Nothing." He turned away and began towing Pippin, who obeyed this time. "It's nothing, we're all right."

As they departed Aragorn glanced down at Gimli, who shook his head and gave a tiresome sigh before turning back to the pavilion. 

"I don't know about those two, Aragorn, I just don't." 

"What, of Boromir and Pippin? What are you uncertain of?"

"I don't like to think of what that Took will do to Boromir," he gruffed with the edge of laughter in his voice. "Pippin drives Boromir to do things I know he would normally not do – it's almost like having two Pippins, one brooding and the other insane."

Aragorn laughed. "I do not think I could handle two Pippins."

Gimli looped his thumbs on his leather belt as he spoke. "Nor could I."

--- --- ---

"He is drunk."

"No, he's not."

"He is drunk, just look at him."

"He is not drunk, Elf! He…hit his head, and is…recovering."

"And somehow managed to fall into a pool of Gimli's brew?" Legolas prompted skeptically from beside Boromir as both warriors knelt before the incoherently muttering hobbit. He got to his feet and turned to head for the pavilion. "I suppose I have to be the one to tell Aragorn and Gimli."

Boromir scrambled to follow him and skidded to a stop before him, minding to keep an eye on Pippin as he said desperately, "You cannot tell Aragorn and Gimli! Legolas, do you not see?!" Boromir looked sincerely nervous, and the pleading note rarely heard in the captain's voice took Legolas aback. "Gimli will tear him to shreds!"

"Gimli may do some yelling, and damage his pride a bit, but nothing fatal. Aragorn must know of this before anything else results from it." Legolas tried to walk around Boromir, who had discarded his jerkin and red silk tunic after they had been the victims of Pippin's having vomited up all of his dinner, and now was clad in only his deep blue undershirt. The man blocked his path once more and seized the Elf's arms.

"Legolas…he makes so many mistakes as it is…Pippin has so much learning yet to do," Boromir's voice went softer, so that drunken Pippin could not hear, and something in Legolas twitched with sympathy at the sound of it. "Are you going to make him suffer through another one? Can we not just keep it silent until all is well again?"

Legolas exhaled through his nose, looking at Boromir pointedly through green eyes. Boromir was wearing down his resistance, and in one last attempt to get out of the web he knew he was going to get pulled into no matter what he said quietly, "Gimli will find out sooner or later."

"Aye, he will…but there is a better chance for Pippin if Gimli has time to calm down. Do not tell Aragorn." 

Legolas resisted the urge to roll his eyes, but instead released himself from Boromir's iron grip and folded his arms across his chest, regarding Boromir with that overconfident air he always did. "On one condition."

Boromir looked startled. "What?"

"You know what I wish to hear from you." Legolas lifted his chin in more arrogance than Boromir had seen from him in a long time. "Say it."

Boromir drew his brows down low. "Legolas…"

"I wish to hear you speak it, Boromir."

"I am not asking this of you, Pippin is."

"I wish to hear it from you."

"Why?"

"Tis the principle of the situation," Legolas said evenly. "You cannot expect me to help you as if I were your servant and you my better. Come, son of Denethor." Boromir bit back a string of nasty insults of every kind thinkable and made a note to smack Pippin when he was himself again, then muttered what the Elf wanted to hear through gritted teeth. Legolas, despite the fact that every being in Middle Earth knew Elves had superior hearing, leaned in and raised his brows. "What?"

"Please."

"I am sorry, that is just a fragment."

"Please help me, Legolas."

The Elf smiled. "Of course I will." Boromir exhaled in relief and Legolas turned back into his practical self. "Now I will not tell Gimli or Aragorn of this, but what exactly do you plan to do with the Took until he is back to his senses?"

Boromir ran a weary hand through his hair. "I do not know." Legolas bit his lip and narrowed his eyes, surveying their surroundings thoughtfully in the silence between them. Something in a distant grove of trees caught his attention, and he touched Boromir's shoulder to catch his attention.

"Over there, do you see it?"

"No."

"It is Haldir." Legolas smiled. "Haldir will help us."

--- --- --- 

"Did they not find you?" Haldir inquired as he sat with his back against the body of the long grey-based tree with the hobbit as they shared a wide-surfaced branch. He was studying one of the silver coins Merry had let him see with interest, looking at the little pictures and symbols and inscriptions on the Hobbiton currency. Haldir had never been to the Shire. "I have never heard crops to make good hiding places."

"Well, his dogs are getting old I suppose." Merry shrugged. "I kept moving very quietly…every time they picked my scent up I just moved on until I guess Farmer Maggot gave up. I was still nervous, though."

The Elf smiled. "It sounds like an adventure." 

"It was." Merry snorted and failed to suppress a shudder. "I'd never do that again for a few carrots. I was in bed for two weeks after that, and I had to make up a stupid excuse for why I came back half dead."

Haldir laughed this time. "What was worse? Those nights in the field or the humiliation of trying to think of an excuse to save your already done in hide?"

"Well," Merry angled his head to give the Elf a pointed sidelong glance. "When I was thinking up the excuse I was at least in a soft bed with warm blankets. And I woke up to six or so very pretty lasses wondering what had happened." He grinned cheekily. "It wasn't so bad." Haldir just smiled back at him, his expression unreadable if anything at all besides amusement lurked behind his blue gaze. "But I suppose you wouldn't have any time for girls, would you?"

"On the contrary, I have all the time in the world." Haldir looked forward again. "In any other time I would have said that and believed it, but as these dark days continue I truly do not have time for such a thing."

"So you're telling me there has never been an elf maiden that's caught your eye?" Merry nudged his new friend in the grey-covered ribs. "A handsome fellow like you?"

Chuckling, Haldir shook his head. "It has been too many years to tell you of foolish things – "

"Foolish?" Merry looked at him with wide, incredulous eyes, and ran both hands through his sandy hair. "Haldir, there is nothing foolish about love! Of all people I would think you would know that."

Haldir arched a brow. "Convince me otherwise, I am listening."

"Well for one everyone needs someone to take care of them, to tell them how wonderful they are, to put an arm around their shoulders when they need it – Haldir, I could go on all night! The rest of eternity even, but I think you would beat me at that game."

The March warden of Lorien gave a small inclination of his head, turning so that the hobbit saw only his fair, proud profile. "You are wise beyond your years, Master Brandybuck, and you think me wrong, I do not believe love is foolish, I believe depending on it alone is foolish." He waved a hand to the canopy above their heads. "What of the beauty of the earth? Of the ties deeper than that of simple love? I smile upon things such as that, Merry."

Merry looked very pleased with himself. "So there is someone."

"Aye."

"And you won't tell me, will you?"

"I must keep some of me to myself," Haldir replied, coming lightly to his feet and effortlessly balancing on the tree limb. "But you – tell me another tale."

"Haven't you heard enough for one night?"

"This is one of my rare leave takings," Haldir continued to study the coin in his hands with glowing fascination, as if he had never seen a piece of currency in his life, and his eyes sparkled every time he turned it over to view the other side again. "Your tales would never bore me."

Merry snorted. "I wish Gandalf could have heard you say that." Haldir stopped examining the coin and regarded Merry quietly as the hobbit hastily wiped away hot tears that still surfaced even after the many days since Gandalf's fall. He cleared his throat. "Do you really enjoy them?"

"I do."

"Funny to think that simple misadventures I had when I was a youngster could entertain one of the brave, wise fair folk like you." Merry shook his head and leaned back against the smooth tree. "I never thought I would be here, that I'm sure of."

"Nor would I have, if I were you." Haldir crouched down in one fluid motion and held the coin out the hobbit. "Here."

Merry shoved the elf's long-fingered hand back. "Keep it. And this war ever ends you should come to the Shire with me."

Haldir quirked a brow. "I would like that." His eyes lowered to the floor of Lorien, and Merry began to talk when suddenly Haldir murmured something and a second blond head appeared from the blue and Merry bellowed a startled yelp, slamming his back to the tree. 

"Legolas! Never do that again!"

Legolas, holding himself onto the branch by balancing on his palms and keeping his feet planted sideways on the trunk of the tree, gave Merry a brief glance but then turned urgently back to Haldir. "Haldir, forgive my disturbance."

"What is it?"

Legolas jabbed a thumb delicately over his green-clad shoulder. "Well, you see, Gimli thought we may toast Gandalf's memory tomorrow night."

"Yes."

"And so he brewed some Dwarvish beer. I tasted it, it was quite good."

"Was it?"

"Yes, very good...not as foul as I have always anticipated in my mind."

"Ah."

"But Peregrin Took, Meriadoc's cousin, discovered it early and consumed all of it." Legolas' brows raised as Haldir groaned and Merry blanched. "He is intoxicated to his ears and if he is discovered by the Dwarf –"

"He will be torn to shreds?"

"Precisely."

Merry let his face drop into his hands. "Oh, Pip, you can be so stupid..." he muttered, and felt his insides clench as Legolas continued on with the story, and Merry wanted to shrink away and hide. Ever since the journey had began he felt as though he and Pip were just in the way, and at every turn Pippin seemed to be proving this thought right.

Haldir waited until Legolas finished, and looked at his cringing new friend, the hobbit. "I do not know what you wish of me to do except hide Peregrin."

"Come, Haldir, many years ago did you fight alongside men...do you not remember those herb boils you put together to sober the drunks up?"

Haldir flinched, as if the distant memories still haunted and tormented him. The few times in his long life Haldir had fought with men had not been the most pleasant of experiences, but he nodded his recollection. "Unfortunately, yes, I do."

"Could you not remake the same boil?" Legolas cast a look below him to a scene Merry could not have seen even if he tried, and his face became even more desperate as Pippin's insane giggles floated up. "For an old friend, Haldir?"

The march warden of Lorien considered this a moment, and then gave a grudging nod. "Very well." He swung from the tree, and Legolas followed as graceful as ever, while Merry found the ladder and quickly made his own way down. 


End file.
